Do Your Beliefs Empower You or Limit You?

February 16 by | 21 comments | Lifestyle | Tags: , , ,

Do Your Beliefs Empower You or Limit You

What if it Just Ain’t True?

A few years ago one of my friends accidentally discovered that his dad was in fact not his dad at all. Ouch. At twenty seven years of age, he discovered that something he absolutely knew (not thought, hoped, or wished) to be fact, was in reality, not true at all. Let’s just say that his reaction wasn’t a totally positive one. It never occurred to him that his ‘truth’, may in fact, be a big lie. A well-meaning lie (his mum had tried to protect him). A noble lie (is there such a thing?). But a major deception nonetheless.

What if you were to wake up tomorrow and discover that something you’ve believed (thought to be absolute fact) for years, simply wasn’t true? Completely and utterly false. You weren’t even close. How would you feel? Mad? Betrayed? Confused? Stupid? Maybe a little of each? Could it be that some of us hold on to certain beliefs in order to avoid the above feelings? After all, imagine having to unlearn something we’ve believed for decades? That would be quite the mental and emotional challenge, wouldn’t it?

We’ve spoken about beliefs many times here at me-dot-com but today I want to give you a little something to chew on, think about and discuss; if you feel so inspired.

Some questions for you:

  1. Is it possible that you’ve ‘learned’ certain things over the years that are, in fact, false? Is it maybe even likely?
  2. Is it possible that some of your (self-limiting) beliefs are the very things which stop you from fulfilling (or at least, exploring) your potential, making certain decisions, taking chances and possibly finding happiness?
  3. Did you consciously choose and develop your own beliefs, or did you simply adopt ”hand-me-downs” from somebody else? (Many people do this). But Craig, why wouldn’t I believe dad? He knows and I trust him, so his beliefs become mine - consciously or not. Intentionally or not. Besides, I wouldn’t want to offend him would I?
  4. Is it possible that you’ve believed certain things (seen the world in a particular way) for so long that the very thought of questioning some of your long-held beliefs makes you feel (1) uncomfortable, (2) anxious, (3) disloyal, (4) unfaithful, or perhaps even (5) overwhelmed?
  5. Have you ever been coerced, pressured or expected to believe certain things, and because of those imposed beliefs you have been compelled to adhere to certain standards, rules and behaviours? Even though deep down you resented it?
  6. Have you ever felt like questioning certain beliefs (to others) but held your tongue in order to keep the peace and avoid potential confrontation? (Why bother – it will only create problems?).
  7. For the most part, do your beliefs empower you or limit you?

Breaking Free

Sometimes beliefs are like handcuffs or leg irons. They restrict movement, potential, exploration and of course, freedom. Freedom to learn, grow and change. They keep us in the custody of something or someone. You know what I mean.

One of the most liberating, empowering and cathartic things we can do as authors of our own lives is to question our beliefs. Not for the sake of being different, difficult or rebellious, but for the sake of learning who we are, what we are and what we really believe beyond the social conditioning, the weight of expectation, the years of mental and emotional programming and beyond the pressure of group thinking.

After all, our beliefs determine our choices and behaviours (for the most part) and our choices and behaviours determine the kind of results we produce in our world. So why wouldn’t we? Is it time for you to do a little unlearning?

Tell me about what you’ve unlearned lately.

  • http://lucindavette.worpress.com singlewithluggage

    GREAT post! Love your insights and your blog. I’ll tell you what I’ve finally learned, through trial and error and being determined to follow my own path- There is absolutely no external fact or circumstance that ‘makes me’ happy, unhappy, content, or anything else. Everything comes from within and extends outward- what I see in the world is a projection of my thoughts and beliefs. Once I started to get this idea and make a conscious effort to be aware of my thoughts and how they make me feel, life just OPENED up in every direction. Thoughts are so powerful, they create our external reality. Choosing my thoughts makes me my own creator- and the ‘doing’ part just kind of takes care of itself. Thanks for the excellent post, among many!

  • http://budurl.com/79e2 Teresa

    I imagine what a shock it would be to learn that something you’ve believed your whole life isn’t true. I’ve had a few slightly similar experiences in the past. Truthfully, they’ve somehow disillusioned me about life and relationships.

    I usually choose my own beliefs. Being a naturally sceptical person, I don’t go with the flow and believe everything people say. This has always worked for me, but has somehow made me a little judgemental at times. What have I recently unlearned? That it’s okay to keep a more open mind and hear what other people’s beliefs are and where they’re coming from before I form any kind of opinions or decisions about them. Sometimes, there is something to be said for the live and let live attitude. 

    P.S. Check out http://budurl.com/f767 to find out how getting out of your way and http://budurl.com/9nh7 to see how overcoming your fears can help you achieve success.

  • http://frombottomup.com/ Hulbert

    Nice post Craig. I agree, it would be kind of weird waking up one day and discovering that our beliefs were completely wrong. I think this is how much of social conditioning works. Sometimes in order to adopt a belief that would be better suited for us, we need to unlearn everything we thought was right from before and start over with new thoughts.

  • http://www.mikekey.com Mike Key – Entrepreneurial Ninja

    #3 sticks out big time for me. I know so many people particularly in religion who just adopt their beliefs because their parents where that.

  • http://www.mikekey.com Mike Key – Entrepreneurial Ninja

    Whoops! Posted my comment a little to quickly.

    I wanted to add that people adopt beliefs without ever leaving room for error or the fact that people may be deceiving us.

    I felt like this article was quietly poking at religious beliefs, but I think the same can be said about political, ideologic and even scientific beliefs. We’ve seen in the past and even now, people use supposed truths and supposed facts to manipulate people en mass.

  • Gina

    Yes!
    When I was 10 or so my mother told me that there was a mistake on my father’s birth certificate. He was sensitive about it so don’t ask any geneology type questions. So I never did. Years later after his death, I was looking over his papers and saw both his birth certificate and death certificate. The name of his mother on his birth certificate was different from the name of his mother on the death certificate. So that’s what he was sensitive about. I asked the few people left in his family about it and no one remembered hearing any rumors about his birth. Am I shoked or distressed? No. I am very curious and there is no way to find out what really happened back in 1915.

  • http://withinthebody.blogspot.com Travis Alexander

    I believed in Santa clause as a child… Now I’m scarred for life! On a serious note: I believe that one should keep a core set of beliefs but at the same time keep an open mind. Let change come through naturally and never close your mind on a single system.

  • http://blog.chaosklub.com Khaos Farbauti Ibn Oblivion

    Actually, that’s actually how I created my web-novel named “Le Fauve”. Some kind of spirit/devil possesses people forcing them to go over their self-imposed limits, “freeing” them somehow.

  • http://www.checkbackground.ws Joddy Foster

    Hello Craig, That’s great post. But believe me I never ever think of it even in my nightmare. The true thing is that I am very much accustomed with our conventional thoughts and I don’t like to unearth the whole naked truth. I think I don’t have that courage to face the situations.

  • Pingback: Snappy « A Very Busy Mind

  • Todd Michael Greene

    #2 sticks out in my mind. I have a lot of self limiting beliefs about myself which hinder my life. I’m working on those beliefs and trying to change them to the truth so I can lead a more fulfilling life. It would take too long to talk about all the things I’m unlearning though.

  • http://livelighter.org Head Health Nutter

    Excellent post, Craig, and the #1 reason why most of us try to change and end up failing.

    I just started (today) Debbie Ford’s 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse to help neutralize self-limiting beliefs: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Get-Started-Take-Debbie-Fords-21-Day-Consciousness-Cleanse

  • http://allwomenstalk.com All Women Stalker

    Shifting your limiting beliefs take some time to change into empowering beliefs. I know it took me several years to get the hang of empowering myself with thoughts and my beliefs. It’s especially hard when people around you do the same thing to themselves. But it can be done.

  • http://www.aloeroot.com Steph

    I think questioning beliefs is one of the most valuable things people can do. Years ago I learned the concept of the “reality tunnel”; how our nervous system creates the existence we choose to tune in.

    Learning that the reality tunnel is flexible – and can be hacked and tinkered with at will – is one of the most freeing notions I’ve ever discovered. Once you develop the courage to question your own mental programming and you start changing it for the better, life becomes a lot more fun. All the better if you learn to practice compassion along the way.

  • http://www.oggsplosh.com/flashman-books Flashman

    Limit you I think

  • http://flavors.me/cheropean Guin

    #2 is a biggie for me, too. I’ve held onto alot of limiting beliefs that I’ve had since childhood. One that I’d love to overcome is that I’m afraid to commit to things (things that I tell myself that I’ve always wanted) because I know they’re going to get harder — guitar, foreign language learning, tennis…I could go on, but I think you get the idea. Another one is giving up bad habits: I’ve chewed my nailed since forever. I’ve tried to give it up since forever too, but it’s so hardwired into my psyche, I’ve never been able to not do it. Great post — thank you, now what’s the next step?

  • http://flavors.me/cheropean Guin

    Sorry, I just reread my post and realized I came off as selfish and urgent…I’m not (much). I think your post struck a nerve. I’m a perfectionist. Thinking about self-limiting beliefs gives me an excuse to vent about my imperfections. Sincerely, thank you for the excellent post, and please forgive my tactless response. ;)

  • Jaebez

    Learning to think for yourself is the most difficult because you don’t want to “rock the boat.” However, after years of being unhappy from serving others, I realized that I was lacking self-confidence (because I was seeking approval or affirmation of my self-worth from others).

    I felt like I was doing the right thing by serving others. Suddenly, I realized I wasn’t happy because I didn’t trust myself. Gradually, I started trusting myself and now I feel I can do anything. My life improved quite dramatically both mentally and physically, when I started trusting and believing in myself.

  • http://jed.com Jed

    No one chooses their beliefs. If you think you do, CHOOSE not to believe that. Didn’t work did it. How do you feel about UFO’s ? Now choose to believe the opposite. Failed again right ? God ? Reincarnation ? Astrology ? Numerology ? etc. Whatever you believe, now believe the opposite. It doesn’t work because you are not in control of your beliefs. You have made a certain constellation of distinctions out of necessity. If I hand you an alien cadaver that you may examine as long or as thoroughly as you like, you now must believe in aliens. And you again have no choice. If I show you how the cadaver was a fake and how I used substitute substances to fake to chemical experiments you did on it to isolate proteins, you now have to believe its a fake and you have no choice but to go where you were before evidence of alien life. You can’t choose your beliefs.

  • http://fastforwardacademy.com enrolled agent

    My beliefs empower me. But I have my own limits to my beliefs. I know what I am capable of. Believing in more than what I can do is foolishness. Or humbuggery. Or just plainly deceiving myself, which is not really going to help me at all.

  • http://ask.com Leroy Jordan 3

    Thanks,im struggling with christianity.i hate the religion but i cant let go.it hinders me through fear of eternal torment
    I just want to be free