Build a Reading Family: How to Share Reading with Your Kids
With so many distractions available to them — cable TV, DVDs, MP3 players, PlayStations, MySpace, and the vastness of the Internet — it’s getting harder and harder to turn children on to reading. The idea of sitting down with a good book and losing yourself in it seems to be a casualty of today’s instant-on, entertainment-saturated culture.
It’s not just reading skills that are being lost. It’s possible that, adding together all the webpages, advertisements, in-game storyboards, and other bits and pieces of text that surround us, kids are reading as much as or even more than they were in the pre-digital era. But with reading, it’s not just raw figures that counts: it’s the quality of experience that’s being missed out on. Reading books teaches comprehension and vocabulary, certainly, but it also teaches the pleasures of slowly-building anticipation, the importance of lingering and reviewing to draw new meanings and connections, the projection of self into imagined worlds of our own making.
So how do we get kids interested in reading? As all parents know, children usually aren’t swayed by the “try this, it’s good for you” argument. Although none of the children in my family read as much as I do, I have had more than a little success getting them to read — and, perhaps more importantly, to like reading. Here are a few ideas I’ve come up with:
- Take them to the library. I go to the library every Saturday morning, sometimes with just one child, sometimes with the whole family. We make an outing of it, and I spend at least a little bit of time with each of them brainstorming subjects to look up and reviewing books with them. It pays to talk to the librarian, especially if your library has a children’s books librarian, to see what special resources your library has and what they recommend for your children. Get to know the children’s section, too; our library has a section specifically devoted to Newberry award-winners, any one of which is guaranteed to be a hit.
- Get them their own library card. Even if your children only go to the library with you, get each of them their own library card. Having a library card gives children a sense of ownership, a sense of investment in their reading choices. It’s something they own, a marker of participation. Our five-year-old, who doesn’t have a library card (library rules) but got a card for signing up for the summer reading program, told everyone he met for a week about his card: “I have a library card!”
- Ask for a commitment. I come from a family of salesmen, and one of the first rules of sales is to make the customer commit him- or herself. So I tried it with my kids, and it works pretty well. Here’s what I do: at the beginning of the week, I ask each of them, “What are you going to read this week?” If they’re in the middle of something, they hold it up and I ask a few questions and we move on. If they’re not reading anything at the moment, I make a few suggestions and let them pick something. The idea is, once they’ve made a commitment, it becomes theirs; they’re not letting me down if they don’t keep reading, they’re letting themselves down. Since nobody wants to do that, they’ll push themselves — and I don’t have to. Reading becomes something they do for themselves, not for me. Excellent!
- Read with them. Set an example for your children to follow. Ask your librarian if they have “family packs” (usually several copies of a book plus a reading guide), or if you can check out multiple copies of the same book. Have each member of the family, or at least a couple of you, read the same book at the same time. This way, you can discuss it, ask questions, and generally help your child get the most out of their reading. If you’re worried about reading “kid’s stuff”, don’t be; as it happens, some of the best writing being done today is in the early reader and young adult sections. There’s incredible stuff in fantasy and science fiction, as well as horror, mystery, and family drama stories. Again, look for Newberry winners, like Lois Lowry’s amazing book The Giver. Don’t be afraid to ask tough questions of these books — most books for young readers are more than able to sustain deep analysis.
- Know the awards. Unlike the Oscars and the Grammies, awards for children’s books are generally a marker of excellence, not merely popularity or name recognition. The Newberry and Caldecott medals are awarded by the professional association of children’s librarians, the Association for Library Service to Children, for outstanding contribution to American literature: the Newberry is for novels, the Caldecott for picture books. Other major awards include the Boston Globe - Horn Book award, given for fiction, non-fiction, poetry, and illustration; the National Book Award for Young People’s Literature; and the Hans Christian Andersen medal, awarded to an author from any country for a distinguished body of work. Look for the medals or other indications of award status, and if you’re not familiar with an award, ask a librarian or look it up on the Internet.
- Aim high. I regularly bring home “young adult” books for my 11- and 12-year olds, after screening them to make sure there’s not anything I don’t think they can handle. Kids can handle quite a bit, though, if we let them; far too often we under-estimate their abilities and either bore them or acclimate them to mediocrity. Give them a chance to push themselves — most kids will rise to the challenge. Obviously this doesn’t mean giving War and Peace to your first-grader, but books by John Steinbeck, Jack London, J.D. Salinger, Kurt Vonnegut, and other major authors can certainly be shared with middle-schoolers. And getting them used to reading challenging literature outside of school can help prevent a merely average English teacher down the line from leaching the joy out of reading these books — or worse, instilling in them a fear of the classics.
- Discuss amongst yourselves. Ask questions about their reading, whether at the dinner table, in the car, or on lazy weekend mornings. Ask them questions. If you’ve read the book they’re reading, test them — gently. Tell them how you felt about it when you first read the same book. Ask them what books it reminds them of, or how they feel about the main character. Let them tell you the whole story, “oh wait, I forgots” and “no, that was laters” included. Get them to talk about what they’re reading, to make it their own.
- Ask older kids to read to younger kids. Reading out loud is an important skill in its own right, but it’s also an opportunity to bring siblings together, and to get older children in the habit of explaining in clear and simple language what they’re reading. And, of course, it will help instill a love of reading in your younger children. Along these lines, you might consider playing audiobooks in the car or around the house for younger children to listen to.
- Limit screen time. This is hard. Extremely hard. As much as possible (without being draconian about it), limit time spent playing video games, surfing the Internet, or watching TV — not because they should be reading instead, but because they should be doing anything else instead. Maybe they’ll read. Maybe not. At least they’ll have a chance, though.
- Don’t disparage other activities. Make reading compete against video games, and you’ll lose. Reading a book isn’t a substitute for TV, XBox, or FaceBook; it’s its own thing, with its own rewards. Encourage a healthy balance of activities, reading among them.
- Don’t rush them. Kids read at their own pace. What takes me an hour and 45 minutes to read might take my step-daughter a week. That’s fine. Reading isn’t a race to see who can read the most pages a minute or the most books a month. If they’re dawdling, set reasonable goals (finish this chapter, read 10 more pages, whatever seems reasonable) or figure out why they’re stuck; otherwise, let them set their own pace.
Remember, reading should be fun, not yet another chore to get through. It is something you and your children can share, not something they do for you. That said, be firm. Sometimes it’s necessary to apply a little pressure, but only when you’re absolutely sure it will pay off. When my partner asked her son to read a book she had loved, he balked; we told him he had to read the first three chapters, “or else!” I don’t think it was wrong to push him, but only because we knew he’d like it once he got started; a couple days later, he started telling us excitedly about some scene or other, and in the end he loved the book. If he’d still been uninterested after chapter 3, though, we’d've let him off the hook.
It bears saying that if you don’t read, your children won’t either. This isn’t a “do as I say, not as I do” kind of thing. Which isn’t to say that if you do read, they will; it’s only the first pre-requisite. Try some of the tips above and see how they work. Or share your own tips with the rest of us below.
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Comments
Shirley says on September 10th, 2007 at 11:00 am
Reading is great! What a wonderful article to help people get their kids reading.
My favorite tip is reading WITH your kids. Being able to discuss why they like or don’t like a book makes reading more enjoyable. Plus they see that it’s not just for school. The Giver is a wonderful book, and is even better when shared.
Don’t forget the other ideas:
1. Let your children read comic books. They are a visual book and make reading fun. And there’s more to those stories than you think.
2. Use their hobbies. Do they like Star Wars? Read a book about how they made the movies. Do they like to grow flowers? Read a book on gardening.
3. Read for fun. Bunnicula the vampire bunny is great for a laugh. So is Franny K Stein - mad scientist. No matter what you’re age you can always read for a laugh.
Most of all have fun!
Reginald Adkins says on September 10th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Hone you skills as a story teller. My children became so wrapped up in the way I brought the story alive with tone, rate, cadence and volume that they beg for more every time I put the book down. As a result, THEY pciked up the book to read more on their own.
Ben says on September 10th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
As a father of two boys under five, I would like to add the following observations. Make reading a book or books an essential part of the bedtime routine. Allow your children to interrupt your reading aloud of the book, with their observations about the pictures or story elements. Also don’t allow yourself to become bored with reading the same book(s) to your children. Use the library for the variety of books that it provides.
I heartily endorse library cards for your childern.
I also agree with Reg’s comments. Once I lost my self-consciousness about my reading voice, and embraced doing different character voices my enjoyment of reading their books vastly increased.
Cait says on September 10th, 2007 at 11:19 pm
During the summer, my mom sanctioned 11am-noon as ‘reading hour’ - if we weren’t at some sort of organized activity, we were required to stop what we were doing and read whatever book we had (whether school reading list, or library pick). While we moaned and groaned about the reading hour, we would often get wrapped up in the book and it was a sort of family bonding time because we all had to read in the living room. Strange, but it worked!
Patrick says on September 11th, 2007 at 2:24 am
I can’t stand this website, because every time I’m on it, I lose hours at a time. If I read one more well structured semi-life changing article I’ll be so angry…by the fact that I have to search for more. Thanks a lot you magnificent bastard.
PaulGuise says on September 11th, 2007 at 5:32 am
This is great advice to get your kids into reading. My family regularly goes to the library and comes out with a dozen books (the checkout limit) and my kids love going to pick new books.
Also, as a tip, you could throw out the TV all together and just not play video games. We found things far easier without a TV (havent had one for almost 3 years) and much better productively for them vs their cousins with a new plasma tv and Wii.
Its also good to note that if you are wondering what books to get, ask the librarian which ones are checked out most often. They have this info generally available to them and will give you a good idea about what other kids are reading. The medals or awards on the front are no indication of quality for children in my opinion as they are not the ones who give out the awards, adults do.
Anyways, good article.
Cheers
Red Zinnia says on September 11th, 2007 at 5:43 am
I completely agree with the original post and the comments!
One technique that’s worked great with my now 8 & 9 year olds is encouraging reading at bedtime. They each have a book light, and are allowed to stay up as late as they want so long as they are reading (even on school nights). We’ve been doing this for a couple of years now, and they continue to happily read every evening. Plus we never have the “I don’t wanna go to bed!” argument any more. I find that since the room is dark except for their book lights they get drowsy and go to sleep when they need to. . . but not before getting in some quality reading time.
~ Lisa
Dustin Wax says on September 11th, 2007 at 9:17 am
Er… you’re welcome?
@Paul: 12 books?! Our library district just upped our limit to *50 items*, including up to 10 DVDs! And guess what: we’re usually maxed out. While I semi-agree on awards, I tend to trust the awards given by librarians, for the same reason you recommend asking the librarian what’s popular: they know what kids like. There’s maybe a dozen more awards for children’s books that are not awarded by people with any particular knowledge of children’s reading habits, so I don’t consider those as much of an endorsement (and didn’t bother listing any of them here, except maybe the NBA for Young People’s Literature — I don’t know how those are awarded).
Sara says on September 16th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
Great article! My roommate has an eleven-year-old who seriously hated reading when I moved in. Both my roommate and I have always loved reading and we have read individually and together (aloud) the entire duration of our friendship.
We struggled with getting him to read a lot in the beginning. When he was eight, trading reading time for TV time worked, but we were concerned that he would see reading as too much of a chore. He is now required to read for at least half an hour a day and that works just fine.
This summer, to keep him focused, we would read the book as well and create a quiz to help overcome his focus issues. If he didn’t pass the quiz, he was then required to complete a project related to the book. This gave him a challenge to meet without too much stress because the only consequence of not passing the test was a fun project.
We have to switch up reading incentives and schedules every so often to keep him motivated. The biggest challenge we face to this day is to make sure we don’t present reading as a chore he has to complete in order to get to the “fun stuff.”
Thanks for the library idea…I think a sense of freedom and ownership could really add some excitement for him.
Sara
Amy Frank says on January 3rd, 2008 at 1:02 pm
I love libraries! I think they are a huge, huge resource that few take advantage of. When I go to the library, something magical happens. It could be that all the information that I’d normally pay for is in one big room….for free OR the fact that I’m surrounded by tons of information. Ohhh-just talking about it….
My “tricks”:
Earn/reward library card
After some discussion and a visit or two, I began building (manipulating as my husband calls it) the value and importance of having a library card and being able to use it. That of course leads to having your on wallet to carry the card (mom or dad’s old one or garage sale are great), a special book bag, special spot in the home to store bag and books, library newsletter/schedule for fridge or room, etc. All of these can be described in a way that it empowers the child and etc. etc. all that good stuff responsible, awareness, confidence hope to follow.
Then we tell everyone that will listen that we have our own library card. “Wanna see?”
We try to take friends and my kids show them around.
We visit other libraries in town and on vacation. Compare older to newer, compare services, who can find it first….
When planning a trip, get the library info as well as all the typical stuff like museums. Often non-residents can utilize the programs, activities, and sometimes get a temporary borrower card. If nothing else, it is a great place for an afternoon break, backup plan for rainy days, blah, blah, blah.
Libraries are also a resource for area information.
A trip to the library is a great reward for good behavior and/or positive reinforcement for time spent reading.
Agreeing with above comments, picking out books together, reading the back description, talking about the book as the child reads it are all good ideas.
Although it starts to drive me crazy when my son goes as crazy as me and wants me to look at everything, look up every book, etc. So this last summer, I spoke with the librarian and arranged a non formal lesson about learning the card catalog (card computer?) and all was good for awhile. Now, we have little tiny papers with random letters and numbers on the kitchen counter, laundry room (washed and dried, of course), and anywhere else he can leave them.
Well, this isn’t my blog so I better shut up and let the pros handle it.
Thanks for the info and thanks for supporting reading with kids.
PS Anyone read Ferdinand?
Dustin Wax says on January 3rd, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Amy: great tips. We enrolled our kids in the Summer reading program at our library, giving them a chance to earn a card holder, then a book bag, then a free book, and then entries in a drawing. They got a card for enrolling (not a library card — just one for the summer reading plan; our 5-year old is too young for his own library card) and got points for doing tasks — reading 20 minutes to a sibling, etc. The little one was so excited about his non-library card, for days he told everyone he met that he had a library card!
Ferdinand was one of my favorites growing up, and it was recently re-issued. We bought it the second I saw it at the bookstore.
WriterRoss says on March 2nd, 2008 at 9:13 am
Dustin: do you have any idea where the reading statue in the photo is actually located?
Thanks for your response.
WriterRoss says on March 2nd, 2008 at 9:16 am
Could you please send a duplicate response to my e-mail just in case I can’t find my way back to this Sept 2007 page? Thank you so much!