It’s common to hear adults talking about how stressed or overwhelmed they are, but do we hear from our children how they feel? Research finds that between 8 and 10% of North American children are seriously troubled by stress.
I’ll never forget a class meeting I shared with my students some 6 years ago. The students were discussing their feelings and all but 1 boy said, “I’m so stressed!” They were 8 and 9 years old. Probing them further, I asked, “Why?” Here is the short list of reasons they mentioned:
1. Too much homework (I must note that they mentioned subjects areas
outside of what I taught since I was always conscious about how much I
have and NEVER gave any over the weekends.)
2. Sibling Arguments
3. Too many extra-curricular activities ie. feeling overscheduled
4. Parent expectations
5. Home problems
6. Stressed out parents always yelling
It broke my heart to see these young souls sharing their stories of stress.
The only boy that day who wasn’t stressed called out emotionally, “I’m allowed to be a kid!” The room went silent. I asked him what he meant. He replied, still very emotional, “I get home from school, take a shower, put on my pajamas, do my homework, eat dinner, play or read then go to bed. I’m allowed to be a kid, Mrs. Kurt.” He was so right.
Today, our children sleep fewer hours, play fewer hours and spend time by themselves fewer hours than ever before. The result is that they are stressed, even children as young as 3 research shows! One researcher, Dr. Kim Payne, was shocked to return to the United States after having lived and worked in war torn countries helping children cope with post-traumatic stress. What he found was that North American children were exhibiting the same physical and emotional signs of stress as the children in the war torn countries.
How can you tell if your child is stressed? Here are some signs to look for:
Physical:
* reoccurring headaches, neckaches or backaches
* nausea, diarrhea, constipation, stomachache
* shaky hands, sweaty palms
* bed wetting
* trouble sleeping/nightmares
* change in appetite
* frequent colds, fatigue
Emotional or Behavioural:
* new or reoccurring fears; anxiety and worries
* trouble concentrating; frequent daydreaming
* restlessness, irritability
* social withdrawal, unwillingness to participate in school or
Family Activities:
* moodiness
* nail biting, thumb sucking, hair twirling, foot tapping
* acting out, anger, tantrums
* regression to baby-like behaviours
* excessive whining or crying
* clinginess, won’t let you out of site
The best thing you can do is to discover the reason behind your child’s stress and then put a few things in place to improve the current dynamics. The step-by-step solutions will be discussed fully in my next article, going up tomorrow morning!
It would be an interesting comparison to see how the kids in Japan and other countries are doing where they have school six days per week and start having exams in something like grade 3. As for North American kids, there’s also the reports of the kids not getting enough physical activity per week as many hours are spent in front of their video games. I wonder how stressed out these kids are.
yes, but we don’t have the same conflicts they do. The writer mentioned above that parents are stressed. that their kids are overscheduled, just like the parents are. it gets worse with sibling conflicts, but this is not to say there is no ”love.” what i mean is, in some scenarios one childs activities, which a parent must attend, may override anothers, meaning one child has to give up his/her own activities for anothers bc a parent would prefer to attend one over the other.
middle class families, who can afford to put their kids under these circumstances, thus create a strict routine and this is the outcome. scholars recommend it. not only that, but our time schedules (betwn child to parent) clash.
the fact that fathers still don’t see themselves as the ones who feed, clean, and oversee their childs activities strains the mother of those children, thus she’s the one who usually takes all of this as her responsibility…thus she is stressed meaning that the marriage between the parents may be strained. ( homosexual couples with families deal with this better. <_< i don't think i need to explain that). government policy is also an issue, not just the after school activities & the public/private shool schedule itself. parents can't take a break from their job can they?
i think this article refers more to middle class children. this is what was stressed in my sociology class, so correct me if i'm wrong; i'm no sociologist. i haven't looked at japan but i think that japanese children may feel closely connected to their school compared to the kids in the US. they clean up the classroom and care for it, and club activities are a must. they pay for everything, and materials are expensive. that's what the tour guide said.
When you say “won’t let you out of site”, I assume you mean SIGHT.
Oh, my comment is all over the place. what i meant when i mentioned the government was that the government hasn’t really aided parents in the conflict btwn schedules, and the issue of employees being overworked, thus leaving less time for family and health. people in the US are less likely to take a break, even if they are allowed to, for fear of replacement. worker ideals i guess. we’re different compared to europe
ONLY 8-10% are seriously stressed? More like 75%, if you ask me. I was one of them.
Consider a different kind of Do Over – Are Your Kids Stressed? www.bentenoyunlari.org http://www.komikoyunlar.net http://www.arabayarisioyunlari.