8 Good Reasons to Be a Lousy Musician
I’m a crappy guitarist. In the 20 years that I’ve been playing, I can’t once remember playing scales, and I’ve never sat down to "practice". I still have trouble with F-chords, I have awful right-hand technique, and my tempo has been known to swing from too fast to too slow without ever hitting "just right".
I wouldn’t give it up for the world.
See, I realized a long time ago that I wasn’t going to be a Famous Rock Star, or even a semi-locally-famous folky. That dream I have where Ronnie’s down for the count and I have to fill in on-stage with the Rolling Stones — and we’re going on in 5 minutes! — would always be just a dream (thankfully).
That realization freed me to stop trying to be cool and to just enjoy playing, and to this day my guitar is the one thing I own that I would consider going into a burning building for. Playing guitar has stopped being something I do for everyone else (even if they weren’t listening) and has become one of the few things I do simply for the sheer enjoyment of it.
You, too, should be a lousy musician
Everyone should have at least one thing in their life that they do for no other reason than that they enjoy it. As it turns out, though, it’s harder to do things for their own sake than it would seem! Collectors dream about the Big Find that will make them rich, writers dream of the best selling novel that will get them on Oprah, crafters and handy types think about how much money they’re saving on gifts and household necessities — and musicians dream about their big break with the Rolling Stones.
To be able to revel in an activity that you’re not all that good at and that you don’t care that you’re not all that good at, to strive for and embrace mediocrity in some area of our lives, that’s a hard thing for a lot of us to do.
But it’s worth it. Here are eight things I get out of being a crappy guitarist:
C) There’s no pressure.
If i never get even the tiniest bit better than I am right now, it won’t matter. Nobody’s life, freedom, or even happiness depends on how well (or poorly) I play "Rocky Raccoon". Whether I improve or don’t improve is totally irrelevant to anything or anyone but me.
D) It creates a social bond between myself and others.
I’ve met thousands of other crappy guitarists over the course of my life, and a few great ones. Being a guitarist myself creates a connection between us, gives us something to talk about. Guitarists are always giving each other little gifts — showing each other how to play a tricky part of a song, teaching each other new chords or new ways to make old chords, sharing licks and riffs with each other.
And, of course, non-musicians are always interested in the fact that I play. It gives them something to talk to me about (apparently my knowledge of early Cold War government sponsorship of social scientific research doesn’t give them much to hold onto!) and, of course, it is mildly entertaining for them to hear me play.
E) It creates a social bond between other people.
I carried an acoustic guitar with me all over Europe for a year, keeping it under my bed in hostel after hostel, carting it in it’s heavy reinforced case from town to town on busses and trains, dragging it through the streets of Paris, Prague, Budapest, and Amsterdam. And I’m glad I did.
Not just because playing in hostels and on park benches helped me make friends, but because it helped the people around me make friends. Once a roomful of travelers have sung "American Pie" at the top of their lungs together (badly), the ice is pretty much broken. People start interacting, because nothing can make them feel any more self-conscious.
F) I get immediate gratification.
I pick up a guitar, finger a chord, and strum, and music comes out. What could be more rewarding? I play, music happens. Instantly.
And if I try something tricky, I can hear on the spot whether it worked or not. If I’m trying to figure out a song, I’ll try all manner of different things, until suddenly I hit the strings a few times and the song I’m trying to learn starts coming out.
G) I’ve developed a new appreciation of music.
Because I’m always listening to music with an ear towards learning how to play it, I’ve become adept at working out how the different pieces fit together, and what makes each of them work, apart and together.
Aside from the increased formal appreciation of usic, I’ve also become much more appreciative of the work that a musician has to do to make a song work. Songs I might have — heck, <em>did</em> — totally dismissed at one point I listen to quite seriously today, because I know how difficult it is to make even a bad song.
A) Playing music creates mindfulness.
Guitar playing is, for me, a kind of meditation. There have been too many time to count when, looking for a moment’s distraction, I’ve ended up playing for hours. When you’re playing, your attention is (usually) focused entirely on the here and now, the unfolding of notes and chords into melodies and, ultimately, songs. This kind of mindfulness means I’m living entirely in the present, even if just for a few moments — a skill that most of us, with our crazy lives and hectic schedules, have a hard time cultivating.
B) It’s relaxing.
Just listening to music is often enough to help ease the stress of our day-to-day lives; making music is a thousand times more effective (as long as you’re not worrying about how you’ll deal with your groupies after you’ve broken big on MTV). The combination of mindfulness and almost willful mediocrity lets me ease up on myself and just be for a little while, clearing my head and soothing the tensions that build up over the course of the day.
C) It’s just for me.
Finally, playing music is something that I do solely because it makes me happy. While I can and do share my playing with others, in the end I play for entirely selfish reasons: because I feel like it.
What are you lousy at?
I think everyone should be lousy at something they love. What do you do that you simply don’t care if you ever get any better at it, that you do just because it pleases you to do it? Let us know!
WRITER'S BIOGRAPHY
Dustin Wax
Dustin M. Wax is a freelance writer and project manager at Stepcase Lifehack. He can be reached though his freelancing site at DustinWax.comDon't Be Stupid: A Guide to Learning, Studying, and Succeeding at College.
Follow him on Twitter: @dwax.
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Comments
Ashley says on June 30th, 2008 at 11:14 am
I suck at piano! I’ve started “playing” piano at the age of 6, and I continued lessons thru the 10th grade. Despite the practice and formal training, I remember very little. Thus, no when I sit at the piano, it’s more of an adventure in improv and goofing off than anything else. I love it! Thanks for the article!
Nicole says on June 30th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
That kind of attitude is admirable. I play three instruments, and I’m not good at them, but it’s all good fun and playing with friends is a great experience. And I like how you listed the 8 reasons in an octave. Clever, you.
Shanel Yang says on June 30th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
I suck at singing, but get all those amazing benefits you described above from doing it anyway. I also used to think I was good at dancing, but am so rusty now that I’m pretty sure I suck at that, too. : ) Yet, I still enjoy moving freely to the music in the privacy of my own living room. I can dance like no one is watching b/c no one is. ; )
bardo says on June 30th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
I’m a not-so-lousy singer and a lousy clarinet player (which, after 13 years, is a pretty lousy result ;). I also enjoy sucking bad at other instruments (bass guitar, piano, ukulele). While I appreciate your point of view, I just don’t feel music this way: in fact, I decided a couple of years ago to stop sucking at it, because to me music is something to be shared by definition. Anyway this could just be a “feel it or not” thing, and I think your point applies to a lot of other activities.
Another thought about music: you write about music that just “starts coming out”. It looks like you’re not so lousy :) Anyway I’ve been studying a lot to reach just that. I’d love becoming one of those jazz musicians that “just play”, and can do that by instinct. I think you achieve just the same, only with much more personal satisfaction and sense of freedom.
jeremy says on June 30th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
I play music and have never been paid for it. But still, I don’t see it as just screwing around with an instrument. I care whether I improve, and it’s important to me that I play and continue playing. If you’re bad, you keep playing and get better.
And of course you have to stop trying to be cool. If the instrument is important, and the music is important, than “coolness” is the last thing on your mind – you just want to play. I don’t give a crap whether people think I’m cool or not, but I’m not a lousy musician: I play some things well, and I’m working on the stuff I don’t play well. That’s just being a musician. “Good” or “lousy” isn’t important.
Vivek says on June 30th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
“It’s just for me” — This *one* reason is enough … for me :)
Dustin Wax says on June 30th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
bardo (and others): I’m not advocating never getting better — in fact, while I consider myself a crappy guitarist, I’m probably raelly good. I’ve been plaing for 20 years, after all — some improvement was bound to occur. But I don’t play because of the improvement, I don’t play because I get better. YEs, I could really apply myself, start practicing three hours a day, learn ionic scales and mixolydian modes or whatever serious musicians do, but then guitar-playing would become something else for me — I’d be creating a whole lot of pressure around it. Which would be fine — if I was also a lousy basket-weaver.
Pedro Marques says on June 30th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
I can proudly say that i ‘m a ,increasing crappyness, crappy pianist, crappy guitarrist, crappy bassist, crappy drummer, crappy saxophonist, crappy flutist and a crappy clarinetist . I am aiming to play harmonica and accordion.
I’m a crappy one man band!
I love learning new instruments
James says on June 30th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Heh, nice post. I find this after a day of non-stop ukulele playing. I’ve been doing it for 9 months, and am becoming rather good at it. There’s certainly an element of calm to it, there’s the conversation created and a bond between people.
FFB says on June 30th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
I’m in a similar boat. Been playin the git for a while now and my dreams of playing MSG are long gone. Now it’s just fun. And it truly is! I’ve also discovered that I’m a karaoke rock star and an air drumming god when I’m at a stop light! I play for no one but me.
Marelisa says on June 30th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Dustin: Very entertaining post! I’m an amateur cook. I just don’t do it often enough to get really good at it (nor does that interest me). I agree that it’s refreshing and relaxing to accept that you’re not great at something, but you still enjoy doing it once in awhile, and not being great at it is OK.
Alicia says on June 30th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
I write short stories and I know they are horrible but it’s fun anyway. I also swim just for me. I’m actually a pretty good swimmer but not even close to a competitive level.
Andy says on June 30th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
My brother doesn’t play guitar, but he has more fun with it than I do. I used to play semi-professionally, and I seldom experienced the pure joy of discovery that he finds plunking around on the strings.
I did learn, however, that a guitar will always be my best friend. It’s never too mad to talk to me, doesn’t care what mood I’m in, never busy, and always ready to play.
Tim says on June 30th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Dustin:
Great post! I, too am a lousy guitar player, but I love music too much not to play just a little. I’ve contemplated giving it up because I haven’t jammed with anyone in years. And I’m too embarrased and lousy to perform for anyone. But as I said, I love music and it is an opportunity to stretch myself. I will work on trying to jam with someone. I will give myself credit for having a great musical ear.
Tim
Torley Lives says on June 30th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
Like Nicole, that’s the first time I’ve seen “points” as an octave or scale! How creative.
I gotta say tho, that from my experiences, all 8 reasons are true of a not-lousy musician. :)
Dustin Wax says on June 30th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
TOrley: As I said, I’m probably not a lousy musician. Actually, I think I’m probably pretty good, technically speaking. The point is, being good is second to just playing — I am constantly looking for new songs to play, new ways to play songs I already know how to play, new chord phrasings, and so on — but if I never got any better, I think I’d still keep a guitar by my desk for strumming on when I’m trying to think through a problem or clear my head while working on a big project.
mmhan says on June 30th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
I play guitar, (if you count a few bars I can hold). And what a relief this article has given me. :)
Paul Sloane says on July 1st, 2008 at 2:59 am
I play keyboards rather poorly but I play in a band called the Fat Cats. We have a brilliant guitarist and a very good singer. I have learnt that you do not need all the members of the band to be excellent musicians. You need at least one very good musician and other people who can keep time and play the right chords. The results are very gratifying.
http://www.the-fat-cats.com
Hardik says on July 1st, 2008 at 3:03 am
Hi i’m lousy at guitar too !! I find the F chord hard too, actually any chord with bar :) .. M reely glad I found you :) my frends keep sayin im wasting my time with the guitar but I’m so havin fun learnin to play the songs that are easy to play and gorgeous to listen to !
Wendy says on July 1st, 2008 at 4:06 am
I love your choice of musical ‘numbering’ for your points, that was cool ;-D
Joel Falconer says on July 1st, 2008 at 6:48 am
Dude, can I bring you in to give an ear-lashing with this stuff to the folks at the Conservatorium? Sometimes I wonder if they forget what music is truly about.
Dustin Wax says on July 1st, 2008 at 9:29 am
Joel: I don’t think any of this applies at the Conservatory, where music is a vocation and becoming the best musician you can possibly be is the goal. At the conservatory, people should be awful poets, crummy auto mechanics, or really bad cooks — anything they can embrace where the name of the game isn’t constant, unrelenting improvement.
Then again, if you’re paying the fare, I’ll come to Australia and say anything you want. I’m easily bought that way.
Joel Falconer says on July 2nd, 2008 at 1:05 am
Yes, yes, I know you’re easily bought ;) My case study: Popular Music students. For the first week of each year they’re all, “Let’s just groove, man,” and after that it’s more, “No, there’s not enough compression on the bass. Dude, EQ out that hiss. What the hell are you doing recording without a pop filter?” and they stop actually enjoying the music they’re making. Those are fine comments to make given the right context, but they become consumed with everything but the music itself.
The problem with that is, unlike other vocations, you have to enjoy—or at least feel—the music you’re making. Otherwise nobody will buy it or listen to it.
And let me tell you, they’ve got the awful poets thing down. Some of the lyrics I hear around the studios…
Leo Perkins says on July 2nd, 2008 at 2:25 am
On day I was hanging out in a jam and one of my friends handed me a double bass and said “play this” to which I say “I cant play a double bass” his answer ” Hit it, if it sounds wrong, it proberly (most likely) is”
I think that is the greatest thing you can say to someone who picks up an instrument.
Igor says on July 2nd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Wonderfull post! It took me to a great depth of thinking. Thank you!
Elathen says on July 3rd, 2008 at 6:22 am
Here is a 9th reason – learning to play music increases the communication between the right and left hemispheres of your brain which is correlated to intelligence. Meaning…playing music…even badly, means you get smarter.
Kate says on July 3rd, 2008 at 3:49 pm
I’m lousy at baking. i LOVE making cakes or pies or anything really- and they really do taste good most of the time. but it’s always an awkward color or weird texture or just falls apart from the slightest breeze- even when you’re indoors.
despite how bad it may look, i like doing it!
:]
Sridhar Oruganti says on July 3rd, 2008 at 11:01 pm
I have been learning to play hindustani classical music on my guitar for the past 2 years.The fact is the breaks from my classes far outweigh the number I attend.
But still,the one hour I try and practice during my weekend is pure pleasure!
Matthew Cornell says on July 5th, 2008 at 8:30 am
I love the idea of “Be the Worst” (#8 in Chad Fowler’s great book “My job went to india”):
o be the worst guy in every band you’re in. a) you fit in, b) your playing gets transformed. works in the downward direction too!
o The people around you affect your own performance. Choose your crowd wisely.
He says to actively seek out “be the worst” situations for ourselves. Takes courage, though…
Arlette says on July 20th, 2008 at 5:24 am
Great, thanks so much for this article. I’ve come to the same conclusion as you have. I started out as a professional pianist, but am so much happier now that I’m not doing that anymore :-).
Shandooga says on July 29th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I could totally have written this. In December I will have sucked at guitar for 25 years and I also suck at piano. Just try and take either one away from me, though.
Music says on July 30th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
This is so true…I love making music sometimes I suck at it but I still continue to make it and once in a blue moon something comes out thats good and I do it for the love of music not to try and make a buck, so I agree with this.
Jeremy says on September 17th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
I completely agree with you man. I play guitar and sing in my room for at least an hour pretty much everyday, usually not meaning to play more than ten minutes. And i do it just because it makes me happy. I’ve been swamped with work this semester, and the only thing keeping me sane is my guitar.
But i do have one thing to say. There’s a difference between being a good musician and a good guitar player. I tried the “good musician” thing, playing scales and practicing in different modes, but it really wasn’t for me. I just like to pick my favorite tunes, but that doesn’t make me a crappy guitar player, just a crappy musician.
Bryan says on October 6th, 2008 at 5:22 am
I don’t know if I can agree, but I am trying to pursue a long-lasting career in music so I see music as a passion, while you see it as more of a hobby.
However, I emphasize certain things over others — creativity over technicality. And when those two things combine, captain planet.
Not to target your ideas and point fingers, but I feel that there’s some problems with it. It seems though that I would be justifying mediocrity when I should strive to be the best I should be. Why should a person set limits on him or herself? Even through the language, you used the word “dream.” I see it not as a dream, but more of a goal because dreams imply no chance of possibility. You could want to improve just for yourself. You may want to be famous just for yourself. You may want to create music just for yourself. Why not share it, though?
Essentially, what I’m saying is that you shouldn’t have to limit yourself to enjoy these supposed benefits of being a lousy musician. You can still network. You can pursue without pressure. It’s all about your mindset and how you look at things. Hell, gigging gives you huge social opportunities. Why not gain more from that? I mean, wouldn’t you also get gratification from being talented. The feeling of playing live and people supporting your music is absolutely great! What if you go farther than that? Even better! There’s no real reason to underachieve.
And instant gratification is such a crappy and superficial way to look at things. In regards to music, that’s why people sell out, shell out one-hit wonders, play off trends, etc. Sure, it may feel good at the moment, but that’s it. You’re not getting all you can out of it. A slice of pizza could set you back hours of work-out time whereas if you were able to just resist the temptation (multiple times) you could be smokin’ sexy. Cost and rewards. It’s all up to you.
Dustin Wax says on October 8th, 2008 at 2:01 am
Bryan: I’m not arguing against striving for excellence — in some things. If music is your deepest passion, by all means go for it. What I’m arguing is that there are some things in our life that we can enjoy *without* pressuring ourselves to do better, *without* the fear that we’re not good enough. Maybe for you that’s not music, just like for me, I *always* work to make my writing as good as it can be. Playing guitar is something I allow myself to do less than perfectly, so I can direct my energies toward *my* deepest passions.
Bryan says on October 11th, 2008 at 5:10 am
I understand what you’re saying and your main point(s). However, I wasn’t trying to say that everybody’s passion should be music or something similar. I think my post may have been taken out of context or I wasn’t extremely clear. I was also addressing other points of your article.
But like I said before, it’s how you look at it. There’s only pressure there if you *think* or *feel* that there’s pressure there. It’s the spotlight effect. Usually, people could care less. You are most probably more critical of yourself than others are of you. You may write a wonderful masterpiece but you’re always comparing yourself to the writers you admire. You, yourself, may be the next big thing in whatever you’re pursuing. It’s perspective.
I do have a perfectionist and idealist philosophy — I admit that. It’s just how I think about things. It is also true that you cannot be the best at everything. You only have so much time and energy. I’m not saying for everybody to achieve every single credential, award, skill, talent, etc. But what’s stopping you? If you want something but don’t have it, then it means you just didn’t want it enough.
Music is indeed my deepest passion. I totally understand that it may just be your hobby. Yes, there are priorities. I will work more on music than I would on anything else. I enjoy other things I may not be so passionate about or particularly skilled at, but I still try my best to improve at whatever it is (when I can) — for my sake and not anyone else. Most definitely, I enjoy things more when I’m better at them. Isn’t that usually the case? You can play songs you couldn’t before. You can incorporate things you couldn’t before. Many possibilities here.
I just don’t think I could tolerate my own ineptitude or incompetence. This could be seen as a problem or as an admirable trait. Nothing may ever be good enough for me, but I would be constantly improving myself instead of quitting outright or accepting whatever traits I may consider a flaw. I just think it seems to limit your potential if you already think a certain way about yourself or predict a negative outcome. The attitude will affect your behavior. It’s like if you dislike somebody, you will consciously look for more reasons to dislike that person and tend to disregard or downplay his or her redeeming qualities, which is also something I find troubling. You should not be bound by expectations.
We don’t have to agree. I was just stating my opinion. I always try to be open-minded. I can argue for both sides. I’m sorry if I came off as critical and antagonistic because I was not trying to.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that we should somewhat strive to be polymaths. Some use the defense of blissfully unaware. Would you rather be a satisfied pig or a dissatisfied Socrates? Like I said, it’s all up to you. You weigh the benefits against the costs and see if it’s worth it to you. The Matrix is a great example of this dilemma. Those who want to go back and those who don’t.
There is a contradiction to myself and it is that despite being a serious musician I have no skill in reading music and no concept of music theory. I have no desire to learn it. I fear that these little rules lingering in the back of my head will totally affect my process of music composition. However, serious musicians may be expected to know or learn these things. I don’t feel these things are necessary and I just won’t do something simply because of an expectation. You don’t even need to know how to play any single instrument to write a quality song. However, I may have developed a subconscious level of music theory. I have also learned most scales through play and ear over time, but I still can’t name them. Even through interacting with a program called Guitar Pro I have learned note length and several other symbols in sheet music. So I know where you’re coming from. That maybe this innocence from music theory allows me to be truly innovative and to truly enjoy music for what it is. I do think that I can reap the benefits of learning these things anyway and still not jeopardize any creative output. I am also incapable of doing the things people professionally trained can because of my attitude of these concepts so I *am* limiting myself. Definitely. Hypocritical, I know. After some reflection, I may go ahead and learn how to read music and music theory. I was just simply making an excuse *not* to and I realize that now. How completely foolish of me. I still feel that it is not completely necessary but nonetheless it’s beneficial. It doesn’t hurt. Ugh, I sound completely self-righteous and arrogant.
To reiterate: There is no pressure unless you place it upon yourself and that particular situation. There’s no *real* reason to underachieve. It doesn’t hurt to improve or become more versatile. You don’t need to limit yourself through expectations and attitudes. Being good at something doesn’t make it less fun, but probably moreso. Everything you do should be done for yourself and that includes improving multiple aspects of yourself — be the best that you can be. You should never have to justify reasons to have a flaw. You should make it so that you never have to create an excuse for incompetence. Cost-and-benefits is all within your choice. The strength of your desire determines if you obtain it or not. I’m not saying that you’re any of this. These are “shoulds”. It’s like rules and the law, you either take them literally word-for-word or you use them as a moral guideline — there are exceptions (or should be).
I have a hard time expressing my thoughts or feelings. Again, I’m sorry if I came off in a negative way towards you but we can agree to disagree. I may have digressed a bit but I hope you understand my side and don’t hold it against me. The language may have also been problematic as when I say ‘you’ I don’t mean *you* but people in general. I also apologize for the long posts. I have a high need for cognition!
Note: I may have taken your response in a different way than you intended and I apologize in advance. I just seemed to pick up a certain tone in it with the numerous emphasis on certain key words. I responded to it as how I saw it and tried to be as thorough as possible.
Julia says on January 13th, 2009 at 6:17 am
Does Rockband count?
Don says on March 16th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
I need a lifehack for this particular subject. I tried booking bands for a while, even playing guitar and bass, facing it head on and it worked…but what do you do when your ex leaves you for a blues guitarist and it tears you apart to even hear the sound? It’s gotten better over time, but still…I was all good with your article until you mentioned groupies. Man, when am I ever going to get over that wound inside me? Shame it has to be about music.