Lots of people give you advice on getting past fear, suggesting if you can break free of the shackles of fear, you will be unstoppable.
OK, all well and good. It is important to master fear in order to feel free and to get things done. AND, I want to tell you that a world without fear would be simultaneously more dangerous, less rewarding, and just plain flat.
So, given that we have spent so much time wishing that fear would just GO AWAY so we could get on with things, why would we actually want to cultivate fear as a friend? Three reasons, actually.
The first is, fear is an excellent guide to opportunity. Think about it. Do you get more flustered and tongue-tied when you meet the girl (or guy) of your dreams, or someone who is just not that attractive? Which is scarier, making a presentation to the CEO of your company or to a bunch of your peers?
Which feels worse, the thought of failing at your dream job or failing at some temp job? (Hint, that’s why some people NEVER chase their dreams. Sad, no?) What’s the common thread here? Fear is showing you what is important, what matters to you. If you didn’t have fear to guide you, you might not know that! Not so bad, right?
Next, fear motivates us to action. The way I see it, those of our ancestors who didn’t run away in fear when they saw a tiger running toward them simply didn’t survive to reproduce. Fear is a call to action.
Now, most of us don’t face serious physical threats like hungry tigers every day, but we do face crazy bosses, angry clients and public speaking. In these cases, our fear is still motivating us to DO something to enhance our chance of survival. The trick is being able to transcend our primitive Lizard Brain and do something useful. Running away or throwing a spear may work on tigers, not so much on bosses.
So, what can you do? Practice your presentation so you know it cold. Build your network so you hear what’s going on in the office and avoid trouble. Prepare for a meeting with a cranky client, maybe even set a backup plan with your colleagues. Let fear provide the energy and motivation to do what needs to be done to ensure your (metaphorical) survival.
Lastly, fear lets you know you are alive. Why do we like roller coasters? They scare us (in a mostly safe way). Same for suspense movies.
What exactly is a “thrill?” It’s doing something scary and surviving. Without “scary,” you don’t get “thrill,” it’s a package deal. Imagine life without thrills. Pretty dull, eh? Is it worth losing thrills in order to avoid facing fear? I’m thinking “No.”
So, bottom line, fear can guide you towards what’s important for you, motivate you to take action to improve your odds, and you give you a rush from staring into the Dragon’s maw and living to tell the tale. Don’t we all need that kind of friend?

















well, i liked your point, and i agree with u about that fear is motivating, but i also believe that fear sometimes stands in our way, and prevents us from taking the risk, its when we learn not to fear we will gain freedom, when there’s no fear we can go through this adventure with joy, we should go where life takes us to adjust and learn not to let fear controls us :)
http://echoes19.wordpress.com/
Samar, good point, fear can be in the way, and my take on that not about learning not to feel fear, but learning to be comfortable feeling fear, basically, feel the fear and do it anyway.
David Kaiser, PhD
Time Coach to Authentic Leaders
http://www.DarkMatterConsulting.com
I like the way you pointed things out. Many people are trying to teach themselves not to be afraid of things, advising them to desensitize themselves. However, I do agree that fear is what motivates us to do things and take action. That was what my classmates and I thrived on when we were in school, and that still is what I thrive on in my everyday life. Getting that thrill is also great because it gives us the feeling of accomplishing something that we didn’t think we could do. And that’s a great thing.
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It’s interesting how you mentioned public speaking because it’s said that speaking in front of people is the number one fear with most people in the world. I’ve seen new members of Toastmasters clubs just petrified during their first few times in front of a group but with more repetition as well as lots of support from others, many of these people have turned into decent and confident speakers. This suggests that for many fears in life, a group that can support you will accelerate the process in beating such fears.
Sometimes it’s the complete opposite for some funny reason. For example, when I want to conquer a very difficult ski slope, I actually prefer facing this fear alone with nobody else watching me. It’s sometimes too embarrassing to have other skiers watch my struggle with a very difficult ski slope.
Either way, as long as there is progress towards conquering those fears, there will be great progress in whatever areas of life one wishes to succeed in.
I really like your point of view. I feel much better about my fear to fail. :) I push myself further.
Hmm – sounds familiar
http://richinnovation.net/2011/03/08/are-you-afraid-good/
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This is a great post. If anybody wants to set some goals for
themselves, you should visit ICanAndWill.com It’s a cool website that
helps people define their goals and receive encouragement from other
people….
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Brilliant. I love it. I wish all my real estate clients, especially buyers, would read this!
Also, fear is what keeps us “civilized”. fear of getting caught doing inappropriate things prevents us from actually doing those things. fear rules !!
[...] Article: Why Fear is Your Friend (lifehack.org) So, don’t forget that risk motivates and take some action today that leaves [...]
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[...] we looked at “Why Fear is Your Friend,” and learned that Fear can guide you towards what’s important for you, motivate you to take action [...]
[...] we looked at “Why Fear is Your Friend,” and learned that Fear can guide you towards what’s important for you, motivate you to take action [...]
interesting blog – make friends with your fear…