When I was 18 an old family friend told me that her best advice to anyone was always for them to be as true to themselves as they could. Looking back, I find it odd that she admonished me to be true to something I really couldn’t put my finger on. I didn’t know who I was.
We all discover things about ourselves as we age and grow. But at 18? I didn’t have a clue. If I could give my 18 year-old self some advice, I’d tell myself to chase after whims so long as I knew for sure that I wasn’t running away from hard work or a valuable lesson by doing so. I’d tell myself to be friendly and try new things. I’d tell myself that there would be plenty of time to follow the pack when the pack was living in a nursing home.
What advice would you give to your 18 year-old self?
(As I have time I’ll update this post with your advice!)
Save your money. Study Engineering. Go to Notre Dame rather than Yale. Stay away from New York.
Ahh, there's a story buried under all that advice! I hope things still worked out okay for you!
Go Fighting Irish :)
Don't do anything you would be ashamed to read about on the front page of tomorrow's local paper.
I'm eighteen right now. what I'm proud of is that I'm constantly searching for ways to improve myself. I want to be less unapprochable and step out of my comfort zone more often
I'd tell the younger me to have more confidence in himself. Especially to have the confidence to try things that might seem a little scary, and to pursue all of those ideas which he didn't think he could do at the time.
And to spend more time following the things he was interested in, and slightly less time in the pub. If I'd been more focused on the ideas and passions I had then, I'd have had more time and opportunity to turn them into something I could do all my life, rather than having to do it all the traditional way, and now having other commitments.
Do new things with new people; falling back in with the people you went to high school with and those activities is a path to stagnation that is going to take you years to dig yourself out of.
Relax, enjoy and stop taking it all so seriously.
1. Never date a guy just because he likes you; YOU should like HIM just as much. No pity dates. EVER. EVER. EVER.
2. Ignore the pressure to conform.
3. It's OK not to want children.
4. You're fighting some sluggish genetics, so establish and maintain a habit of regular exercise.
5. Don't wait; cut the waist-length hair NOW.
1. Don't hang back, be more adventurous & party party party (I'm with you Ron).
2. Take up dancing lessons sooner. Learning to lead in dancing works wonders for leading in real-life and in becoming more self-assured. (Leaders in any field should learn to dance and learn to train dogs :-)
3. NO pity-party cases: Don't get involved with people who are having a pity-party or who bring you down. Their negativity isn't good for you.
1. Don't hang back, be more adventurous & party party party (I'm with you Ron).
2. Learn to dance sooner. Learning to lead in dancing is great for leading in life, and helps make you more self-assured.
3. NO pity-party cases. Don't get involved with people who bring you down, especially those having the pity-party.
I am a special case. When I was 16 I was diagnosed with lupus. I was told my life would be difficult, and that I would most likely be in and out of hospitals for much of my life. It was hinted at that I would not live a long life. That at best I would make it to my mid 40's. So I went from being a care free teen to a driven woman. Who did not die in my mid 40's but did end up to sick to continue working. So I would go and tell my 18 year old self to loosen up and live a little. Don't push your self to hard, stop and smell the roses. Really really explain to the guy who asks you to marry him at 23 what might happen in your 40's. Or don't marry at all.
Stay in school. College is much harder to handle once you have job and/or relationship obligations. Double that difficulty level if you're married. And college teachers are much more difficult to tolerate once you've been out in the real world for awhile.
Take big chances. They only come by once.
Walk around every day like you're a real-life super hero: cape, tights, and all.
Keep doing what you're doing. I don't want to create a space time rip.
that's hilarious!!
Congratulations, you have won at the internets.
I'm only 20 but I would say that everything is not so serious and btw…go to class!
- Shed your fears.
- Say yes more.
- Get into as much trouble as you can, you'll regret the things you don't do more.
- Require no one else's approval but your own.
- Don't stop exercising.
Get more sleep. Stop worrying so much.. Have more fun. Don't procrastinate – and letting yourself have fun helps with that.
Set a goal for every day or week or something to talk to someone you are uncomfortable with.
Exercising gives you runners high rather easily – discover those hand weights/walk around the loop 3 years earlier.
Take some career testing your first semester and explore what sounds interesting.
Don't spend money for "stocking up" or "preparing" for something to happen.
Seriously – get rid of a lot of that crap and stick it in boxes/bins. Quit losing your homework.
Stretch.
Look into meditation before you sleep as a way to not need sleep aids etc.
Advice for age 18 x 2 = 36. Ditto.
The reference to 36 is that I am turning 36 in a few weeks and still need to remind myself of those things
Trust your gut and don't every put yourself on hold, kid. You'll get yourself through no matter what.
Oh – and stop spending all your time on the internet, with mailing lists or your other obsessions.
Don't be scared. Just do it.
Go to school. The longer the wait, the harder it's going to be.
Save a little cash. You might just need it a little later…
You are better than you think and have a lot to offer to the world and to the ones around you.
Chances are it won't matter 10 years from now. However, I doubt my 18 year old self would listen to anything a 40 year old told him. Self or not.
I don’t think I could give myself any advice without detracting from the lessons that I learned at 18.
MISTAKE: Realizing that I actually had a chance with the girl that got away.
LESSON: Be on the lookout for opportunities in life rather than wallowing in self-pity. Although seemingly unrelated this experience led to volunteering my time to help others.
MISTAKE: Working for a year at a dead-end menial labor job.
LESSON: Understanding the difference between a job vs a career and survival vs living with a purpose.
MISTAKE: Delayed going to college.
LESSON: Realized that I had actually enjoyed and missed the challenge that education provided.
18 was also the year when I became interested in self improvement and started reading lifehack and other similar books/blogs. Maybe I would simply give myself a reading list.
Chances are it won't matter 10 years from now. However, I doubt my 18 year old self would listen to anything a 40 year old told him. Self or not.
I made lots of mistakes right after I turned 18, but were it not for those I wouldn't have become the person I am today. Avoiding advising myself to avoid the hard lessons, I do have a few bits of advice a few that would've been helpful but not life altering.
Be more frugal and understand that your money and what you spend it on defines you in some ways. If what you own amounts to nothing things become very dicey.
Learn how to take care of a car.
Don't doubt your instincts.
When people ask you to lead them, give yourself some credit and take them up on it.
GET MEDICAL INSURANCE
When you must take action you're ashamed of, be clear with those you trust. They'll forgive you, but years down the line you won't have a chance to ask for such a thing.
You are so amazingly in-shape right now it's stupid so don't give up your workout habits no matter how down life gets you.
When you get a motorcycle, never forget to wear your chaps when the weather's right for it. If you don't you're going to have a fun time when you bust yourself up and find yourself in need of a cane for several months.
Don't waste time or money on college. Read books, educate yourself by exploring the world and business opportunities, but don't think like an employee.
I would tell myself, "Self, you are about to go to college and earn an English degree. It will be a giant waste of time. Go find the Computer Science department or learn a trade. Don't relocate more than once in your life and never for money. Don't work so damn hard. Play more."
For me it would be "relocate more often!" I'm 57 now, and did four major changes (not counting colleges)—always excellent choices, as it turned out. A couple more to other interesting places would have been good.
No really: major in economics. Despite the fact that yes, it was your mother's advice.
Save, save, save before the kids come and travel more for pleasure than work.
Getting a terrible score for your end of school finals is not the end of the world.
Wow this post is going to be very interesting. As someone who just turned 18 2 months ago, I'm going to read through the comments here and take them to heart :)
What happened to my previous comment?
Anyway, I would like to say again that I'm very excited to see what gems of advice I might uncover in this post as I just turned 18 two months ago :)
Looking back, at 18 you think you know everything, but actually you don't. At 30, I'm much more content with myself than ever before. Enjoy yourself, do more than you plan to, don't regret not doing something.
Don't do things you'll regret later (honour yourself, keep that moral/ethical code you have), & expect the best in everything.
Consider other career options than the boring ordinary ones that your parents did. There are more important things in the world than money, and a fulfilling job is more important than a stressful well-paying one.
Also stop obsessing about your figure. It's absolutely fine the way it is, no matter what your stupid boyfriend is telling you. Just look after yourself and keep it that way.
Learn how to seduce women
Physical fitness is fine but in the end you still die because your body has worn out in some way. Faithfulness is more beneficial in this life and the life to come.
1. Don't take it all too seriously, be positive
2. You are right – you didn't have to be a product of the environment
3. Don't bother trying to save – you'll suck at that even more as the years pass
4. Yes, you will live to 37 (and longer, let's hope)
5. Pick and choose where to invest your time and energy, I would tell you where – but that would leave out all the fun
6. Yes, relationships are often bittersweet – that never really changes
7. Close people are going to die, you can't prepare for it
My daughter, now 35, told me the other day that I changed her life by convincing her that the world is full of interesting stuff to learn and do, and she was able to learn and do it. She was so busy learning and doing stuff that interested her that she didn't have time for drugs or booze or other stupid stuff. And she's still learning and doing today.
1. Don't take it all too seriously, be positive
2. You are right – you didn't have to be a product of the environment
3. Don't bother trying to save – you'll suck at that even more as the years pass
4. Yes, you will live to 37 (and longer, let's hope)
5. Pick and choose where to invest your time and energy, I would tell you where – but that would leave out all the fun
6. Yes, relationships are often bittersweet – that never really changes
7. Close people are going to die, you can't prepare for it
1. Be open to new experiences. Take chances and realize that failure is necessary and can lead to doing great things.
2. If someone is critical of you, and constantly wants you to change, don't stay in a committed relationship with them. Be yourself, always. Find friends who appreciate the real you.
3. Money is important. Before you spend money, ask yourself if you really need that thing. Savings will allow you freedom to afford what really means the most to you, whether it be travel, or the freedom to have the career you choose.
4. Don't choose a career soley for the income it earns. Just because you are good at something, doesn't mean doing that thing will make you happy. If you really love doing something, try to find a way to fit your career around that one thing. If that is not economically feasible, then have a 5 year plan, or a 10 year plan, so you don't lose your passion.
5. Follow your passion.
6. It is natural to be afraid. Courage is ignoring the fear and doing things anyway. Be courageous.
patience is a virtue.
what you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. build anyway.
carpe diem.
Invest in Google.
Never buy a tv, if you have one never get cable; ever.
And for that matter never buy a couch.
Never buy a new car
Finish school
Other than that you are responsible for your life, happiness.
You decide what is important in your life.
* I'd advise myself to live healthy (don't start smoking and exercise at least a litte each day).
* Save more of your money.
* When you drink too much, you do stupid, stupid things that you will regret.
* You are smart and you are good enough – you are worthy of a truly great life. (When you look in the mirror – see "pretty".)
* Don't forfeit your artistic side for practicality. They are both important.
* Your anger will only go away when you face it head on. Self-improvement books and classes won't help you until you understand your fears and learn to truly forgive those who have left scars on your heart and soul.
I would advise myself: Live a healthy life (don't start smokng and exercise a little each day). Don't give up your artistic self for the practical self – both are important. When you drink too much, you make stupid, stupid mistakes that you will regret the rest of your life. The anger you feel right now is because of the scars on your heart and soul. These will only go away when you face your fears and forgive those who have hurt you. I know, I know how much they hurt – but you will overcome them and finally find peace. Look in the mirror and see "pretty" because you are worthy.
If you want to pursue a career direction and someone tells you its going to be very difficult, do it anyway.
[...] Simonds at the Stepcase Lifehack blog posted a short, thought-provoking piece called “What Advice Would You Give To Your 18 Year Old Self?” I immediately came up with some ideas of what I would have done differently. However, [...]
My advice would be: get the hell out of the stock market, sell everything and go short. I was 18 in 2000 ;)
I'm 18 now so it's helpful to read through all the comments. I just recently started a Personal Development and Entrepreneurship blog to share my growth.
Don't join the military on a whim. Especially if you don't know what infantry is.
More for the UK really but,
1) Join the army before your 22 (min service is 4 yrs.)
2) Learn a trade in the army – you’ll never have to worry about finding work, for too long at least
2) Save your money while in the army.
3) Use the money you saved to go to uni. On or before your 26, the benefits here are
a) You will have the discipline to really excel in your studies
b) You will be a lot stronger and generally fitter than the bulk of your peers
c) You will have more experience than your peers (and lecturer!) in almost everything you do
d) Women will (hopefully) be more interested in you since you will be older, wiser, fitter and richer than those around you – plus have more to talk about in general.
Stay away from friends that encourage the worst it you.
Stay close to friends who bring out the best in you.
Remember that only one or two of them will still be your friend on your 40th birthday.
Love your body, it's not going to get much better than it is now:)
Borrow as much money as you possibly can. Spend it all on Google stocks. Sell them all on the 7th of December, 2007. Buy it back on the 21th of November, 2008.
SAVE MONEY! Exercise. Travel more. Quit your hourly job and do internships. Discover what you really want to do. Dont do things that are expected of you be yourself!
Expect great things of yourself.
-Don't be afraid to take risks.
-Don't overestimate the downside of doing something different.
-Constantly try to get outside of your comfort zone
Don't stop exercising.and don't talk easily anyone. and Don't get involved with people who are having a pity-party or who bring you down. Their negativity isn't good for you.
Tax Reserves
Always ask yourself will it matter tomorrow, next week, next month or years from now some things are beyond your control or not worth worrying about.
Your true friend will always be there when making new friends surround yourself with positive people and ignore those who speak negatively.
Never complain unless you have a solution to the problem or know what you expect to fix the situation.
When I was 18 I had no idea about all the different talents that I have so I wasted much of my life trying to find out what I wanted to do and be. My advice to my 18-year-old self would be GET A MENTOR or several mentors who can help you discover and develop your talents. My parents were uneducated and couldn't help and neither could any of my relatives, neighbors or friends. If I'd had a mentor at 18, my life would have been very different.
1st: DO NOT MARRY, never!
2nd: change country to live in;
3rd: be happy; there's a lot of reasons to.
:-)
I didn’t read all the comments but I’d it’s not mentioned already, Just listen to the song ‘everybody’s free to wear sunscreen by Baz Luhrmann
Don't waste time on blogs. Even if you write something positive & interesting, you'll just get the message "comment deleted by administrator" when you submit it.
Don't focus on finding/keeping lovers—there will ALWAYS be good opportunities, and the ones you find now will soon be uninteresting anyway (because if you're smart, you'll keep changing your life, and they probably won't keep up).
For that matter, NEVER be desperate to keep anything, especially jobs. Instead, concentrate on getting better educated (not necessarily in formal settings), more widely traveled, and steadily wealthier.
Don't buy anything expensive until the urge has been eating at you for at least a year, and fastidiously ignore fads. Despite appearances, "new" is very rarely "good".
Don't sacrifice creativity for stability.
Don't plan or worry much—the worst things that happen will usually be unanticipated anyway, and the good stuff won't work out as you hope/expect.
It you feel an overwhelming urge to join something, make it the Coast Guard (and do it early!)
Don't focus on finding/keeping lovers—there will ALWAYS be good opportunities, and the ones you find now will soon be uninteresting anyway (because if you're smart, you'll keep changing your life, and they probably won't keep up).
For that matter, NEVER be desperate to keep anything, especially jobs. Instead, concentrate on getting better educated (not necessarily in formal settings), more widely traveled, and steadily wealthier.
Don't buy anything expensive until the urge has been eating at you for at least a year, and fastidiously ignore fads. Despite appearances, "new" is very rarely "good".
Don't sacrifice creativity for stability.
Don't plan or worry much—the worst things that happen will usually be unanticipated anyway, and the good stuff won't work out as you hope/expect.
It you feel an overwhelming urge to join something, make it the Coast Guard (and do it early!)
get your teeth sorted out, take up golf earlier maybe I'd be better now, don't be afraid to try new things. I don't have many regrets in life so I don't think there would be too much I'd say to myself. Perhaps just not to stick to things just because you know them if you don't want to carry on with your job/girlfriend/regular things then have the corrage to get on and try something else.
Relax!!! Enjoy life, take time to breathe, rest, holiday, party… goals are great and working hard is worthwhile, but stopping for frivolity is important too. Sometimes rules are there to be broken.
1. Respect others as you expect to be respected.
2. Stay in touch with your extended family members.
3. Finish college.
4. Start saving – even if it is only $5 per month.
5. Don’t stop playing the French Horn.
stop being an old fart, go out, take a risk or two and have fun
Give yourself more credit you're better than you think
Travel
Don't worry everyone makes mistakes
Be artistic
Do everything you need to pass you're studies but remember things outside that
Be more open, never lie
1)Tobacco is bad, even the kind you put in your lip
2) Be more confrontational, dont let yourself be walked on
3) The path less travelled is always a great option
4) Worrying is a terrible pass-time
Go do as many interesting and adventurous activities as time/money permits. It isn't all about studying and worrying about University.
I am only 25 but I regret wasting so much time in the past. Making up for it now though :)
You are SO smart! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. EVER! Also, don't go to college right out of high school. Learn self-hypnosis and meditation first. You don't have to be an art major just because you're good at it, but for the love of God, don't try to major in anything with a lot of math. You're not ready for that. Maybe get a psychology degree or sociology or go to a horticulture school. And get back into music now. Try harder to get grants and don't get any credit cards. I don't care what your mom said, she's wrong. She doesn't actually know you that well. Guess what? No one really knows who you are yet, but that's not a bad thing.
This is something I've been thinking a lot about this year. The most important thing I'd tell myself would be to keep my self belief. Looking back, I was too afraid to take opportunities or push myself as far as I originally intended because I let other people convince me I wasn't quite good enough, or that someone else was better. None of those people ever achieved what I was hoping too, they were just part of a clique that I never fitted into. They would never have offered me the positive comments that might have made themselves look less wonderful, but in my youth and naivety I let myself believe their criticisms.
What a WASTE!!! Now, at 34, with 4 very young sons and an incredibly supportive husband, I'm finally trying to recapture my potential and energy, to achieve what I always should have done, and to be the best example to my family that I can be. It's certainly not easy but I'm not going to waste the second half of my life! Talk to me again when I'm 68 ;)
Buy AOL when it hits $1
Buy AOL when it hits $1!!!!!!
listening to my heart. i lived according to my heart. i did what i wanted to do except for illegal things!
[...] fool yourself when you pretend that you know more than you did then” I was reading over this article and it’s ridiculous how much everyone looks back on their lives and thinks they know so much [...]
It is okay to make as many mistake as possible. Because many of life great experiences comes from a TOTAL MISTAKE!
*slap!* "NO!"
if i didnt understand future me slapping me in the face and saying NO… then i dont deserve that kind of epic advice to myself
"Kill yourself", yes I would troll myself.
Don't be afraid to share your goals with other people. Ask for advice from professors and supervisors. Ask for help. Ask early, ask often. The instructions are not printed on the box, and you need their guidance to go where you want to go.
Yes, your Dad was a violent bastard. But wasting time being angry about that will do nothing to him, and poison the next 15-20 years of your life. Spend a little time in therapy now and learn to just write him off. The day you put him behind you is the day you finally start actually living your own life.
Don't move away from your parents, you will regret it as they age, and you may not be able to move back.
One line:
“To thine own heart be true”, because at the end of the day, when you go to bed, it’s just you and your pillow… and your pillow doesn’t give a crap about what you did or did not do/say/touch/dream/whatever… period…
Oh – can take the offer to Purdue you dumbarse…
Start learning Spanish and stop doing drugs. Get out of that relationship, and be on the look out for an amazing unexpected woman in four years. Don’t ever stop working out.
1. People will hurt you.
2. You will get over it.
3. Smile more often.
4. Don’t make excuses for not getting your work done. Just do it.
Your dad isn’t going to die and you won’t have to take care of your little brother and mother. Clear your head and focus on your future. Live, laugh, love and let everything fall into place as it should. Do the things you want to do and go all out for them. Eat healthier and get lots of exercise. Be happy and spread joy to those around you, don’t be afraid, otherwise 13 years will pass and you will be alone and still searching for love, life and happiness.
Failure isn’t a bad thing.
You’re better, and can achieve more than what your friends and family think you can.
Fear is the only thing holding you back, from EVERYTHING. Not peoples opinions, not money, not anything but fear.
Don’t fantasize your intended career. Look into it first. Really know what it’s like before you study for 4 years for it.
Build on each experience. Each one becomes part of a chain of events that culminates in awesomeness. As an 18-year old, I conducted independent research, analyzed it, and presented two papers at conferences. I should have done the next steps: published the papers, gotten more funding and conducted more research and established myself as an expert. Perhaps applied for a Fulbright or a fully-funded PhD program.
Basically, build on each experience until you reach awesomeness. Time is precious and building on momentum is a time-saving strategy.
Find an adult you respect and Trust some of that advice that seems so irrelevant. Pick a career goal that suits your interest and then work at at whatever it takes to get you there. Have a plan and stick to it, Save for a rainy day, and until you are working at what you want to do, Don’t be so choosy- it’s money! Save for that rainy or sunshiny day. Don’t keep up with your friends and have to have the best electronics- better you should do some traveling to far off places. Play the field and date a lot so that when you do find the right mate, you will know. Balance your work with some play. Don’t take everything to serious, respect others different opinions, work hard for the next 10 years and if you truly have a plan, you will soon be doing that job you love and the rest of your life should be cake! The rest of your friends will just be settling down and trying to make ends meet but you will be far ahead of them all!
Being 52 now, I would tell my 18 year old self that abstaining from alcohol/drugs won’t make a difference. Doing your best and working hard won’t make a difference.
Don’t make the same mistakes.
like yourself and don’t date a guy just because he likes you; YOU should like HIM just as much. No need be sorry for dates
set a goal and stick to it, it’s normal to be afraid for the unknown future, but believe that be courageous and chasing dream, you will make it!
In life there are 5 balls: faith, relationships, health, integrity, & work.The first 5 balls are made of glass & will break if dropped. The last ball is made of rubber & can bounce back. Be careful how you juggle.
Don’t go out with someone just because they flatter you. Ask yourself—is your instinct telling you that they just want to see what they can get from you?
Don’t, don’t, don’t get married, even if you think you are the most mature person in your social circles.
Don’t get married just because you have a good full-time job and are “ahead of the pack”.
Why to any of the above?
Because A- you may have it “together”, but your star-crossed eyes may not see that your intended doesn’t have it together.
B- Marriage for any 18 year old is too young—you’re still growing physiologically.
And C- Self-delusion is powerful. Listen to your elders, and show them respect, even if you disagree with them.