September 25th, 2006 in Communication, Lifehack

How to Deal With An Irate Person

Bert Webb at Open Loops gives a quick approach on handling an angry person to be more calm and logical. He states using calm voice and let the other person match us to the calm state is wrong. Instead he says it is better to use a method called “Pace and Lead”:

… The first step is to match the complainant’s emotional intensity. This is not agreeing with the person. This is simply responding with the same emotions that are being presented. If a person is complaining that the delivery person scratched the new dryer as they installed it and was outraged, the customer service rep would respond in an outraged fashion: “They what?!? You’ve got to be kidding! If that happened, it’s unacceptable!!” This is pacing. After matching the emotional intensity, the rep would begin to, slowly, de-escalate the intensity to a normal level, leading the complainant to a state that is more productive for dealing with the problem…

Sounds logical to me. Noted, I am going to try this next time when I am in such situation.

How to Deal With An Irate Person - [Open Loops]

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Leon Ho

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  • Ririan says on September 27th, 2006 at 10:42 am

    I think it’s very important to project authority. An uncomfortable smile, backing away and using a high-pitched voice will project nervousness and cause the person to be more aggressive.

    Great advise.

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