Steve Pavlina has written an article called “How to Go From Introvert to Extrovert”. The article talks about blocks and suggestions to becoming more “extroverted”. In my opinion, what the article really suggests there are some ways on improving social skills if you are introverted.
Being introverted or extroverted is a personality, and personality is very hard to change. Being introverted and extroverted is your preference – do you prefer to be read books quietly, or do you like to be talking with people instead?
What Steve’s article suggests if you want to put aside your preference and being more balance in your life, there still some ways you can do it.
… Play from your strengths. It’s interesting that many introverts have no trouble socializing online. In that environment they’re able to play from their strengths. But you can also use your strengths consciously as leverage to branch out into more face-to-face socializing. For example, after I graduated college, I met a woman on a local BBS (before there was much of a World Wide Web). We got to chatting online over a period of weeks. Eventually we met in person and became friends, and I soon fell into her pre-existing social group through osmosis. My social calendar went from empty to full almost overnight. That woman, by the way, has been my wife for the past 7.5 years. If you socialize online, see if you can’t use that strength to build new local relationships. While people have done this in global forums like online games, I think it’s easier to try it in local forums. For instance, there are message boards for people who’ve recently moved to Las Vegas….
How to Go From Introvert to Extrovert – [StevePavlina.com]
Related Resources:
Socializing the introvert
Introvert – Extrovert
Are you introverted or extroverted Quick Test
I agree with you. I don’t understand the core of his logic. Why would someone want to become an extrovert in the first place? Not every introvert is a recluse shut up in thier house without a telephone and wrting in little journals all day. I think that Pavlina makes no effort to explain why being an introvert is so undesirable and thus has no basis to assume that the general introverted population would gain any benefits from becoming an extrovert. I’ve posted my opinion here if anyone is interested… http://www.unhappyemployee.com/?p=9.
I agree with you. There are two different personalities in the world, introverst and extroverts. And there’s no reason why introverts should be transformed to extraverts. Frankly, I find the notion offensive!
Check out his article which highlights the main misconceptions extraverts have about introverts at:
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch
i find one has to socialize.
now dat my sister is married, i realise dat i dont hav any same age friends.
only people who care to talk are my parents and my servants
i am scared tthat once my parents are gone,n i dont hav much money. i will hav no one to talk to.
God put two types on this earth for a reason. Extroverts serve the bold, rush in where fools dare to tread function, and introverts serve the whoa, bud, let’s think about this before we rush in function. What kind of nightmare would it be if everyone were an introvert or everyone were an extrovert. It’s about balance, people.
I am offended by turning from introvert to extrovert because it pathologizes a temperament. There is nothing the matter with introverts! However, there is something the matter with social anxiety, but that is not synonymous with introversion anymore than being a loud-mouth bully is synonymous with extroversion.
I am horrified at the idea of becoming more extraverted. My book, THE HAPPY INTROVERT- A WILD AND CRAZY GUIDE FOR CELEBRATING YOUR TRUE SELF just came out. I’m proud of being an introvert and wouldn’t change for the world. It’s a gift to have an interesting inner life and so many interests. I’m never ever bored.
Extraverts have their gifts and we have ours. What’s more, each of us uses both introversion and extraversion every day – it’s a matter of degree and in what areas they are stronger.
Read my book. It’s fun and very interesting, with my usual style of many of my cartoons added to help explain things. I also wrote The Enneagram Made Easy.
Yours truly,
Elizabeth Wagele
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[...] Convert yourself from Introvert to Extrovert? digg_url = ‘http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/how-to-be-a-happy-introvert.html’; ( function() { var ds=typeof digg_skin==’string’?digg_skin:”; var h=80; var w=52; if(ds==’compact’) { h=18; w=120; } var u=typeof digg_url==’string’?digg_url:(typeof DIGG_URL==’string’?DIGG_URL:window.location.href); document.write(“”); } )() Author: Craig Childs Posted: Tuesday, April 17th, 2007 at 11:23 pm Tags: introvert, social, social networking, socializing Share This [...]
Somebody replied “god put two types on this planet” I disagree.
There are many shades of introversion ranging from mild introversion to extreme introversion also with varying degrees of anxiety / social panic and avoidance.
At the end of the day, it’s not about condeming ‘introverts’ and making them change because this is somehow socially unacceptable.
It’s about people leading happier more fulfilling lives, and if introversion is a block to this happiness, then it’s preferable to change and become more of an extrovert.
FYI: Myers Briggs says there are 16 types of personality. I took the test on-line and found out more about myself from the results than I did from talk therapy.
Perhaps Steve Pavlina was always an Extrovert and was an unhappy one who felt somehow stuck inside himself. I can’t find another explanation for him testing once year as an Introvert and years later as an Extrovert.
Introverts as others above have stated are not going to become Extroverts.
Introverts and Extroverts are simply two different personality types, granted with many shades of each existing.
I read the title of Steve Pavlina’s article and cringed. It seems to me his article feeds the misconception, as least in our Western culture, that extroversion is the desired and better personality type.
We introverts need to value ourselves and others need to learn to value our differences.
I am glad for Steve that he is now a happier person but really I think life is about finding ones own happiness and in my opinion we find the most happiness by embracing who we really are and not by trying to become someone else.
Hello All,
I agree with the notion that everyone has different gifts and introversion is one of them (being an introvert myself). From a performance point of view, maagement expert, the late Peter Drucker asserted that the fastest way to turn an average performer into a star performer is to recognise their gifts and place them in roles where their gifts are what is called for (or people can do this themselves see combined MBTI/Strong Career report at http://www.mbtionline.net.au).
However, within our area of expertise (leadership), it is clear that extraverts have a clear advantage. This does not mean that introverst cannot be good leaders. It does mean, that with the social apsect of leadership, introverts are likely to find the work more draining and they will have to consciously develop competence in areas that extraverted people naturally find easy. You can find some useful, research backed tips in our free article, The Socially Intelligent Leader, available directly from http://www.leadershipdevelopment.edu.au/SiteMedia/w3svc674/Uploads/Documents/The%20Socially%20Intelligent%20Leader.pdf
Kindest Regards
Shaun
[...] lifehack.org – Convert yourself from Introvert to Extrovert? [...]
I’m totally agree with Shaun Killian. I’m an introvert and find it so much unpleasant leading others. Noisy life, alcohol, dishonest… But high-paid jobs often involves leading… So, I find Steve Pavlina’s suggestion a bit useful.
Stieve said that balance is the best – I’m too, not intend to be a fully extrovert person.
Strange!! Most of you have taken the article in wrong sense, the article is not trying to transform all introverts into extrovert, as that would be wrong. It only tried to help those introvert who wants themselves to be transformed. We all are of different types introvert and extrovert are just words they can’t define peoples’ traits accurately. As we all are mix of both.
I believe what Steve is talking about is steps for introverts who want to become extroverts. If you like the way you are and are comfortable with being reserved to yourself and what not then this article does not not apply to you. In my situation his article was very helpful to me because i want to become an extrovert.
If you are introverted at heart (or head, to be more concise) you can not just change. It is hardwired in you. Because introverts use a longer neurological pathway in their brain to retrieve & work with their memories, it is physically impossible to go from one to another, unless you do some sort of surgery (which I doubt would be possible any time soon *sad panda*). I do on the other hand understand you very much, as it’s not always easy to fit in this craze world, sadly enough based on an extroverted lifestyle.
Bah, just saw your post date. Oh well…
Still post them please? lol.
Honestly. Its a bit devastating to hear I’ll never be an extroverted person. Introverts by nature, prefer to stay at home. Introverts are exhausted by social interaction. I don’t want to be those things, I want to be extroverted : /
This does not work for most introverts.
I just want to clarify this for some people: introversion and extraversion are physical atrributes that manifest themselves through personality. Introverson and Extraversion are two completely different ways that the human brain works. You can not change from one to the other. Can. Not.
Introversion is not a social condition either. I see many of these websites that try to give advice on how introverts can overcome their social awkwardness…
Introversion does not mean social handicap. Introversion is not Social Awkwardness. They are not related.
So when people try to give advice on this, remeber that when you say “Introversion” you are actually refering to people with social issues or people with some problems like autism or aspergers.
When you continue to use introversion in place of many other words, you’re spreading the wrong ideas about real introversion and all of the people that are introverts, which only bolsters the idea that introversion is a problem or a disease.
Worst of all, this leads to introverts believing they are broken or are wrong and that they must change themselves. It’s impossible to change, and it is not a problem. Don’t continue to spread this completely false idea.
I’m a dating coach, and deal with this issue on a daily basis. It seems like guys seem they have to be outgoing or extroverted in order to be successful with women. Being outgoing may play a part in it, but it’s much more deeper than that. I really like what you’ve written about the subject, and would love it if you could take a minute and read what I’ve written on my latest blog at http://www.online-dating-mastery.com/?p=1687. –JT
It seems to me that the person who wrote this article is confusing an
introverted person with a shy person. People very often do that. My husband is a very introverted person and he is not shy at all.
My sister is shy and very extroverted. That is the reason why I read a
lot about this topic. Shy and introverted are not the same thing. Unfortunately there are a lot misinformation out there.
It seems to me that the person who wrote this article is confusing an introverted person with a shy person. People very often do that. My husband is a very introverted person and he is not shy at all. My sister is shy and very extroverted. That is the reason why I read a lot about this topic. Shy and introverted are not the same thing. Unfortunately there are a lot misinformation out there.
….Uh yeah, being an Introvert is no more a choice than being left handed is. I’m an introvert, and I enjoy reading books AND talking to people. Introversion and extroversion has NOTHING to do with social ability, I know people who are extroverts but have pretty bad social ability, and I know Introverts who can be considered social butterflies.
An Extrovert is energized by being around people, they need some kind of human contact in order to happy and healthy. To put it another way, they look outwards, they seek things outside themselves (I’m talking in general here, as all people are different, so there are many who may not follow the general pattern)
An Introvert is energized by being alone, while they do enjoy company and being around people, they need time to themselves to sit down, calm down and reflect. They look inwards, and seek things within themselves. (again talking in general)
You can’t change wither you’re left handed or right handed, It’s the exact same way with being an Introvert or an Extrovert