If you spend any time trying the usual networking strategies, then you’ll probably notice that most of them seem insincere at best. It always feels like you’re fighting between your own agenda and the best interests of your new “friends.”
That said, networking is perhaps the single best way to achieve success.
So how do you achieve the goal of advancing your career and expanding your professional network without using people? Here are 7 tips that should help.
1. Choose the best channel for you.
Too often, we spread ourselves too thin by setting up accounts on social media sites, going to networking mixers, cold-calling potential clients, asking interesting people out to lunch and so on. For most of us, this all-out pursuit leads to burnout instead of results. Rather than trying to be everywhere at once, decide which area should receive your attention first. Choosing to focus on one mode of communication makes it easier to give your new contacts your full attention … which is exactly what they deserve.
2. It’s about listening to what people say, not saying the right things.
Take a bit of the pressure off of yourself. You don’t need to say the exact right words at the exact right time. Networking is more about taking the time to listen to people’s stories and looking for the places that you can provide something of value to them. it is crucial to understand where people are coming from and what’s important to them. That way, you’ll be able to help them out in the future.
3. You don’t need to know the most people, just the right people.
Stop firing your business cards to everyone you meet and blasting emails out to anyone that looks interesting. It’s much more beneficial to have 10 people that would help you at any time than it is to have 100 that recognize your name. Spend some time finding people that are relevant to you and then pursue the relationships that seem to have a genuine connection.
4. The other side doesn’t “owe” you anything.
Just because you reached out and said hello doesn’t mean that the other person is required to help you. Instead of approaching networking with the hope of gaining favors, try reaching out with curiosity. Contact interesting and relevant people and see what happens. Figure out what makes them unique. See if there is a way you can help them. And if you do help them, don’t expect anything in return.
5. Every person matters.
Please don’t make the mistake of categorizing networking opportunities by status, position, or other superficial metrics. People advance in their careers. People change jobs and industries. Furthermore, you literally have no idea who knows who. That fast food worker could have a cousin that works on Capitol Hill. Treat everyone with respect and don’t dismiss anyone as irrelevant.
6. Offer praise when you reach out over email.
Unless you have a mutual contact that is putting you in touch for a specific reason, it’s best to avoid asking for anything when you make that first contact. Did they win an award or did their company do well last quarter? Send a quick note of congratulations. Over email it’s especially important that you offer a little praise before delving deeper. If they reply to your first email, then you can move on to asking for advice or setting up a date for lunch.
7. Show your current network some love.
Networking isn’t just about reaching out to new people. A huge part of it is nurturing your current network of friends, co-workers, and peers. You can start helping these people today because you already know what they are interested in. Network with the people that are already close by sending helpful information and connecting them with other interesting people you already know.
These steps aren’t difficult, but the do require you to take action.
There aren’t any secret sayings that will turn you into a world-class networker. Simply, begin reaching out and helping others however you can. If you’re looking for more, then I’ve put together an even longer list of networking tips.








Too many people treat networking as a numbers game of accumulating people that they can contact when they need them. Connecting with someone you meet at a conference and then waiting to talk to them two years later when you need a job is not effective. Networking is about developing relationships rather than a meaningless list of names. These 7 tips are good advice that should be followed to develop a strong and meaningful network.
Thanks Lew! I’m glad you enjoyed the article. I totally agree … networking is really just a code word for building genuine relationships.
[...] 7 Ways to Build Your Network Without Using People via Stepcase Lifehack by James Clear on 6/2/11 [...]
Good networking is relationship building, it’s fun, and a great way to help others while meeting new people.
David Kaiser, PhD
http://www.DarkMatterConsulting.com
Great tips for networking. I especially like #4 – far too often we do favors for other people with an agenda. That doesn’t work.
Thanks Jeff! Glad you enjoyed the article.
You’re welcome. It was a good one.
Great tips for networking. I especially like #4 – far too often we do favors for other people with an agenda. That doesn’t work.
I love this, they are great tips — I am a huge fan of #3. I watch some people try really hard to know as many people as they can, but really its about knowing the right people. So good.
Yes, and I would add — it’s about knowing the right people for you. A lot of people get caught up in trying to know people in the most prestigious positions, when they should be searching for the most beneficial relationships regardless of position.
Short and to the point … as I like it.Thanks a lot for this tips! Really nice. Very useful Post.
This is a great concept: Thank you! I especially like #5.
Thanks Arlie! Glad you enjoyed it. :)
These are great tips for networking, particularly the listening part. Too often at networking events, many folks are just focused on telling others about themselves or their businesses rather than showing any interest in others. Of course, at the end of the evening, this often results in a collection of business cards that will be immediately thrown out once you get home. We have to remember that people like to do business with others they like. If one doesn’t show interest in others, it will be hard to make a good first impression.
So true, Clint. Spend most of your time helping others and you’ll find that they will help you out more than you could have ever asked for.
100% agree with #7. It’s amazing how people get so focused on new connections and often forget the many, many people they already have a warm relationship with.
I am with you. I have actually struggled with this myself in my business. Splitting your focus between new connections and warm market has been a help for me. But at the end of the day you have to dispel those predetermination’s you have about people you have a warm relationship with.
Every one of these is excellent. It’s so easy to get caught-up in trying to make the “right connections” to further your agenda. Great reminder to make relationships, not just connections. Thanks!
This is my first time to visit your site, and realized that it’s really helpful and i learned a lot from this.. it’s true every people matters because each individual has his own way and principles in life. it’s great.. thank you!
This is a great post. If anybody wants to set some goals for
themselves, you should visit ICanAndWill.com It’s a cool website that
helps people define their goals and receive encouragement from other
people….
I’ve never felt confident or comfortable about the idea of ‘networking’, as I’d always viewed it as superficial banter aimed at closing a deal and getting something from others. However, the idea of networking being primarily about adding value to others is a really helpful perspective to have. Thanks
Louboutins shoes are regarded as as since the symbol of sexy and classy.Christian Louboutin names after a famous shoes designer who launched his line of high-end women’s shoes. Now come to Louboutin UK store! We will change you into a gorgeous girl! Here provides Discount Christian Louboutin Sandals,Cheap Christian Louboutin,Louboutin Mens Collection and so on.The unique and well-Designed shoes favored by the world, signed with the Christian Louboutin red soles of the mark, giving high heels and covetable accessories, system pumps and elegant luxury Christian Louboutin clutch has to be available almost all fashion only. We now provide Christian Louboutin shoes with free shipping and save 60% off! Hurry up! Christian Louboutin UK store is your first choice!
More and more ladies are crazy about Christian Louboutin shoes. They are sexy and chic! In many fashion events these shoes have been noticed. Louboutin outlet online is a professional louboutin outlet store! We provide New Christian Louboutin, Christian Louboutin High Heels, Christian Louboutin Sandals with high quality shoes and free shipping! The sexy Christian Louboutin Peep Toe Pumps can easily grasp men’s eyes when you pass by. A pair of Christian Louboutin Peep Toe Pumps will undoubtedly embodies undisputed wealth, knowledge, especially the women’s charm! Want to buy christian louboutin? Come to christian Louboutin outlet online store!
Excellent tips. Building and nurturing networks is also about keeping your existing connects
Networking is vital to success in business and life. http://www.professionaltactics.com/build-your-network/
This article was great and really helped me. A program that helped me even more was this awesome San Fran based company called Social Fluency. They teach essential communication skills to help men and women better interact and connect with each other. Check them out socialfluency.com and shoot them an e-mail.
Seriously, they totally changed my life!
Interesting articled – thank you!
I’m one of these quiet networkers, when someone pushes me to listen to their shpeal or shoves a card in my hand I tend to just put them in the pot and forget about them, but when someone engages on a topic of interest and I know their background I am more likely to remember what they do and pass on details to others…
I’ve always hated the idea of networking, It feel’s like abusing friendships, instead of growing them.