10 simple ways to save yourself from messing up your life

All these statements make perfect sense, but miss out the hardest part: how?

“Stop taking so much notice of how you feel” – How?

“Let go of worrying” – How?

“Give up on feeling guilty.” – How?

I think the people most in need of these changes are probably the ones who find it most difficult to carry them out – precisely because they are ruled by their feelings and do not feel in control of them.

I like the last point about personality not really existing. Very true, but it isn’t something people every talk about.

A fantastic rendition of core buddhist principles. Anyone wondering how just google buddhist meditation and the simpler the better.

A lot of the above advice sounds very similar to Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, a very respected school of thought in psychology that has been tested for many years and found to be quite effective in treating depression, among other things.

anon said

“I hate articles like this. If everybody could sever their emotional connection with their lives, sure they’d be happy, but their life would lose all meaning.”

This article had nothing to do with severing emotional connections, and everything to do with letting go of your fear, fear which produces hate and diminishes your ability to love, hate which you’re full of – you even hate articles. You have a lot to gain from really meditating on this article’s message, anon, and nothing to lose but fear and hate.

So basically, just don’t care about stuff. I have to admit, I do feel a bit better when I stop caring about anything, so this is all probably good advice.

Not bad, but a better list is found in:
Rules of Life by Richard Templar

ISBN-10: 0131743961

Nope, sorry. This is almost as bad as “The Secret” stuff that is being released. If you do all of these things, you miss out on the greatest challenge of all…LIVING Your Life.
Yes, I agree with certain aspects of the article, but to not feel, to not care, you might as well NOT BE.
This is a sad state of affairs when the advice people want to hear is “Don’t worry, don’t care”. It is the easiest way to lose yourself, whatever you may be or become. Yes, too much of anything is bad. Take life and its pitfalls in moderation. The only thing that can stop you is dying, and if you think this is good advice, you are already dead inside.

i read the first two and gave up. total contradiction. if you “can’t stop yourself from thinking or prevent emotions from arising in your mind”, then how can you “let go of worrying”?

There is a book and movie about this exact story. The way of the peaceful warrior, a novel by Dan Millman, later directed by Victor Salva, a Liongate film. If you want to be at peace with your self, id suggest you’re step is reading Dan millman Way of the peaceful warrior.

The book is about a arogant jong student who wonders in an all-night-gasstation for a late night snack. He meets a man he will soon name socrates, a mentor that will change his life.

Dewilde,
..about half-way there.

Youve got to be kidding, i thought this would be a list of inspiring infomation, a way to enlighten yourself.
This list is more like a way to get through life without giving a damn, whats the point in living if your not gonna think, or have emotion, the concept of not acknowledging your own emotion or thoughts is ignorant, since you should acknowledge them, to better yourself.
Guilt. Worry. Inner Critic, these are all mechinsms for dealing with life, and again are a way to better yourself, when you feel guilt it helps you to acknowledge that youve done something wrong, and thus you can move on and learn from the mistake, by ignoring guilt, you are actively ignoring a chance to better yourself. Worrying can be cut down on, but not forgotten, worrying is caused by presure in a situation, if you didnt worry about anything, nothing would get done that needed doing, deadlines would not be nearly as threatening. And an inner critic is like a conscious, it helps you decide whether your actions are a good idea or not.
This list is a falicy, and can only lead to lonely shallowness of character.

The advice sounds good in theory. All of us can choose to avoid things we dislike, or stop thinking those megative thoughts, then low and behold, some member of the family, a friend, a boss or an authority figure comes along and says, “Why aren’t you doing like everyone else?” As you state, control freaks. I’ve meet 4 people in my life that did me harm in this way.

You can blame me for listening or doing their way. I can blame me too.

Sometimes it takes options. Because I have ALL READY sufficiently messed up at 34, in ways you haven’t, I am stuck with the knowledge of what people will allow me to do.

I have tried change for the last year. Really, really tried. Put thought and words down to describe what I would like. It may take me a few more years…

Hope, doubt, dreams, ambition, action, belief are just a few of the watch words of anything to do with improving self.

This has been all over – but I have a book of how nots to write.

You have just accurately described how to be a psychopath. If that’s the way you really operate, then it’s you who should see a psychiatrist.

For the 80 percent of us that are mentally healthy, there is a little known resource for how the brain works that will answer the “How?” question.

Check out “Psycho-Cybernetics”, a quick read written years ago, by Dr. Maxwell Maltz.

You will learn that understanding the mechanism that the brain uses to keep us alive will allow us to have conscious control of our behavior. You will understand that habits are physical not psychological.

Understanding this concept will reveal why most people “do not” succeed when dieting or trying to quit smoking and “how” you can.

Adrian offer guidance here, not commandments. That’s been done, and they don’t tell you how to live, only what not to do.

I believe others are mistaking “don’t worry so much about how you are feeling” for “not feeling.” Thereby missing the moon, for the finger.

These are very good suggestions, and alot of people are misinterpreting them far too seriously.
Letting go of your worries and apprehensions won’t make you a robot. If anything, it will make your day to day life less stressful. I know, I worry far too much about what others thing of me, and restrict myself because of some unwarranted fears.

This seems like total crap to me… it reminds me a bit of “the secret” crap. Stop thinking negatively? Most of what this list is saying is “be less depressed and you won’t mess up your life,” if anyone’s so depressed that they need this advice, they probably need to see a doctor.

While nobody should wallow in self pity & their own emotional pain, it’s just fine to take pride in good things & cultivate happiness in one’s self, so one should notice when they feel happy!

And while there is a point of worrying too much, not matter how much I worry about an asteroid, that has no effect on whether or not an asteroid will hit me. Worrying is only useless when it’s about things you can’t do anything about, but if worrying makes you more prepared, then it’s helpful.

Everyone has an internal life commentary… it’s not all good or all bad… and it’s really funny on Scrubs.

Again, an inner critic and guilt are like worrying; it’s good when it motivates you to do better.

It is true that we shouldn’t be so concerned what everyone around us thinks, but the better way to state this would be to say; you are only in control of your own actions, you can’t control other people. If you’re spending money on stuff to impress others, that’s bad. But if you care what your boss thinks about you, and do a better job because of it, that’s positive.

When you shouldn’t keep score is with friends & family; don’t play tit-for-tat with other people. I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine is petty; help others when you can, not just when you owe them one.

Nothing in life goes according to plan, and of course that’s no reason to be concerned. Live life with no expectations, but lots of hope & be happy when things are going well, even if not on schedule.

In addition to not letting others blame you for their failings, don’t blame others for your own failings.

You do have a personality; you were born with it, it’s in your genes, it’s been scientifically proven, and it’s very hard for a leopard to change his spots. It’s not impossible, but you have to really want to change, just like you can’t change others, others can’t change you.

Overall, this was a stupid list. Ways to not mess up your life would be stay in school, don’t rack up credit-card debt, don’t buy things you can’t afford, don’t have a child before you’re ready emotionally & financially, don’t marry just for love, choose a careerer you don’t hate, etc.

I would rephrase the first item to be:
“Be aware of how you feel but don’t be obsessed with them [your feelings]”

Allowing ourselves to identify our feelings and to feel them helps us grow.

I also think it is important that we need to be aware of our thoughts. Thoughts that are critical can pull us down. We have the capability of changing habits of thinking.

What a useless bunch of advice. Let go of all fears and concerns and you too can live a better life? My ability to worry helps me keep my kids safe because it keeps any dangerous situation they might be in on my mind so I can keep contemplating solutions. To say not to be concerned that my life is not following my plan is another dumb one. Just because I am concerned about life not following my plan doesn’t mean my plan is rigid. All of this is stuff you can say that doesn’t mean anything.

Finally, just to add a little more negativity onto this, the poster who said “if you don’t understand how perhaps you never will” is just being rude. You are implying that you are in an elite class that “gets it” and that the questioner is too stupid to be part of that class and too stupid to benefit from these types of articles. It has been my experience that people who are unable to explain an answer to someone else, simply don’t actually know the answer.

Forget about how you look, and concentrate on how you feel. Figure out what makes you feel sensual and wonderful—whether it’s bubble baths, pedicures, massage, sex, naps, running or tennis. Plan more of these good feelings into your schedule.

In summary:
Don’t worry, Be Happy
:)

@oluxxx:

Finally, someone in this thread understands the point of this article.

Moreover, I think these are presented as guidelines, not as a personal reprogramming regiment. They’re ideals to aspire to; realize that our nature will not change overnight.

I align myself very much with Buddhist principles, but I still find myself being judgmental (especially of myself), comparing myself to others and holding myself to impossibly high standards. Although greatly improved, my need for approval from others is hard to shake. The difference now is that I often overcome these emotions quickly, and they don’t rule me. I suspect it will be many years before my nature will be truly different, but that’s okay.

To sum it overly simplistically… relax. Bob Marley said it well… “don’t worry about a thing, cause every little thing gonna be alright”.

I definitely can see how these would be steps to treat depression as someone mentioned. But overall, they are steps to becoming more selfish.

#2 is made impossible by #1. Letting go of fear is doing something about fear. But #1 says I should just let my emotions be, since I can do nothing about them. So right off the bat, you’ve lost me.

I’ve known people that are able to live like this. They are happy but are some of the worst people I’ve known. They are the people that make me think negatively about the human race. They’re individual happiness comes at the expense of everyone around them. They don’t care what others think, don’t feel bad when they ruin other peoples time or things…they’re just pretty much oblivious, selfish people who do what they want, when they want and don’t mind getting in everyone’s way.

Some of these ideas are terrible advice.

If you’ve read any psychological literature in the past 30 – 40 years you’d know that

a) your thinking is under your control
b) your thinking affects how you feel and behave

Notes on worrying: pay attention to what you’re worrying about. It could be an indicator that something is wrong, and an impulse to make changes in your life; on the other hand, people do worry excessively and needlessly as well. It is important to analyse and decide whether or not you’re worrying needlessly or realistically. For example, if there’s some poison leaking into the local water supply, that’s a very good reason to worry.

Wisdom is knowing when to worry and when not to worry. this is something learned, not instinctual.

Learning to not worry over harmless things is a good idea, but to just shrug off worrying leaves you blind to serious and real problems that might be affecting you or others. Not worrying is just apathy.

Same thing with feeling guilty. If you give up on your feelings of guilt, you risk cutting yourself off from your internal ethical meter. True, people generally feel too guilty, or guilty about things they need not feel guilty about. The point is learning rational guilt – where you did something you consider wrong or unethical. Feeling guilt will motivate you to correct the wrongs you might have committed; feeling no guilt makes you sociopathic.

As for not paying attention to how you feel, that’s crazy. Your emotions, thoughts and behaviour are interconnected; and so your emotions can be a valuable source of information that something is not right and needs to be changed. That said, using your emotions as a form of reasoning is irrational. Feeling something is true does not make it so.

The idea is to calibrate your feelings and thoughts in a way that helps you survive and thrive in your environment. Cutting yourself off from your feelings leaves you disadvantaged, lacking in a valuable source of information. Just because people overstate their feelings does not mean feelings are useless. The key is not to overreact, to find the right point of balance between feeling and functionality. Advocating anhedonia is irresponsible, dysfunctional.

For anyone for whom this article “twigged” a desire to dig deeper, study Zen. Most of the (with all due respect) watered down advice presented here are diluted from Zen philosophy.

excellent post Adrian! You clearly know what you’re talking about because I recently learned many of the same from my own experiences!

i will be looking out for posts from you!! thanks. – san

what a crock. yeah, just turn this off, to thinking that, blah, blah. some of these suggestions I think are really jokes. don’t judge yourself, don’t feel guilty, don’t keep score, I’m a bum, but whatever. I know lots of people got this list already nailed.

Without infringing on the third paragraph I can definitely say that most of the comments posted so far are from a bunch of people that just don’t get it and are definitely prey of most of these, especially the first and third paragraph. These are not rules, just guides… use them as you see fit (or not). Always remember to keep an open mind, the moment you close it, you loose.
My favourite quote (and song): “Don’t worry, be happy!”
It’s fun looking from outside the box… you should try to do it more often.

Great post, keep up the good work.

Underneath the ten steps in your post is a spiritual identity which will emerge as you apply the steps you have laid out. If you turn any of these problems over to whatever you consider a higher power(from a sunset to Buddah) and not wrestle with them,you can achieve a higher degree of serenity. These problems are universal points of suffering, we as humans experience and through our lives try to trandscend.

This is the biggest bunch of bullshit I’ve ever read. I don’t have a personality…!?

You should headback to Psychology 101 you pathetic excuse for a human being.

So what you’re saying essentially is just become completely emotionally numb. That’ll make you happy.

Thank you for this article. It’s a shame there’s so much negativity in the comments. I for one will be doing some reading on Zen.

Many people really don’t have a clue as to how their behaviour affects others, and would resent you even mentioning it to them. We live in a severely disfunctional world, and most folks just don’t care what others think anymore. Customer service sucks, fast food quality has degenerated, the right-of-way goes to the pedestrian only at risk of life & limb, we flame and savagely attack each other at online forums and posts, and people of all ages are rude and belligerent in public.
The real value of what was originally said above has to do with personal growth, and makes one part of the solution, rather than the problem.
Three things for all of us to consider:
1. “it is better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
2. “There is no quicker road to pure and total ignorance than contempt prior to investigation.”
3. “life’s a smorgasbord; take what you can use, and leave the rest.”

pathetic article. author needs to learn some morals and differentiate the truth from reality.

in order to have order you need a certain amount of ‘dis ‘order .
in order to be in order of what is ‘dis ‘order , you need to have order .

after reading Ten ways …
i felt somone had tied my hands behind my back while standing in front of me tormentng me with the a majik wand , of which if i had , that majik wand , i would have no need to mess up my life … after they untied my hands of course ..
smiles , nice article all the same

This is great, I love simple ways to save myself… Best ideas ever.

I could not agree more with this article.

Freedom from the bondage of self. The ultimate freedom. “Selfish/Self-Centered/Self Seeking” is the root of our problems.

Have you ever noticed it’s impossible to hurt unless you’re thinking about how you feel? Why not live for a greater purpose than self? Pursue the purpose of a Power greater than yourself maybe? When repeated efforts to exert your own will continue to bring about the same misery, maybe that’s telling you something?

That’s what the article says “Quit focusing on YOU so much” It hurts when your the center of the universe and it’s all about you and how you feel, belive me. I like what he says 99% of the issues we get involved in don’t really affect us at all, but our ego tells us they do.

I’ve noticed that everytime I start to struggle it’s because I’m overly-concerned with ME! And when I start finding fault in others it’s always becuase I’m not doing what I should be doing.

We can let self or other’s control our minds, or we can choose to let a Power greater than ourselves control it for us. When we fous on other’s they are in control of our minds, believe it or not.

Lack of Power, that is our dilemma. We have to find a Power greater than ourselves…

Using Prayer and Meditation in search of the latter has brought more peace in my life than I ever thought immaginable. It’s like living on permanent cruise control..

There are no big deals..

But..but…it’s not a guide to ‘succeeding’, per se. It’s just a list of ways to stop you from messing up your life. It’s not asking you to give up on guilt, disappointment, concern and other human emotions. It’s not asking you to be a robot.

Its just giving you a caution – dont get overwhelmed, dont get carried away by fleeting thoughts, dont get paranoid and do something stupid. It’s a cautionary list, is all.

@Alicia: You got it! I think the author’s point, as one can see in the first paragraph, is to act, to do, to be, not to fall into that loop of thinking over an over again about something, including yourself.

However, the author made a mistake, and it was consecuently misinterpreted by many people as I can see. The mistake was to take a negative point of view, telling what NOT to do, instead of what to do. Being this a positive list, it should be made to highlight positive feelings. I would make the list again, this time taking the positive parts as the real guidelines:

1. How you feel is how you feel.

3. Whatever you tell yourself will be make-believe.

5. If you feel guilty about something you’ve done, either do something to put it right or accept you screwed up and try not to do so again.

7. Numbers are just numbers. They don’t have mystical powers.

8. The world changes constantly.

9. It’s their life. They have to live it.

10. What fixes someone’s personality in one place is a determined effort on their part

“Do” is much powerful than “don’t do”.

Follow your nature and accord with the Tao;
Saunter along and stop worrying.
If your thoughts are tied you spoil what is genuine.
Don’t be antagonistic to the world of the senses,
For when you are not antagonistic to it,
It turns out to be the same as complete Awakening;
The wise person does not strive;
The ignorant man ties himself up…
If you work on your mind with you mind,
How can you avoid an immense confusion?

-Seng-ts’an “Treatise on Faith in the Mind”

What a negative, depressing article.

1. Since this point doesn’t differentiate between positive emotions and negative emotions, we must assume it means both. So if you’re happy, that’ll pass too. Don’t dwell on it. Wonderful. Better advice: Don’t allow negative emotions to consume you. Fear can be beaten – search for your strength. You’ve come this far, so you can go further.

2. Let go of worry. A fine point, but as some people pointed out, worry has a purpose. The human mind is very good at creating scenarios that are possible, but not likely. This is one reason why many people are bad gamblers: they see a big win for themselves, but fail to maintain the perspective of how likely their vision is to happen. In everyday life, such scenarios can be self-fulfilling. Better advice: examine your worries and check them to see how easy it may be to avert the problem, how likely the problem is to arise in the first place, and whether the worry is worth the trouble,

3. Ease up on the internal commentary. Better advice: You are the one person on earth *least* qualified to assess your own worth. You may have a good idea of it, but you’re too far inside your own life to view it objectively. Balance your view of yourself between your own sense of who you are, and how other people act around you. Others may lie for their own purposes, while you can be your own worst critic. Consider all sources for the best possible picture.

4. Your inner critic. “Pointless” and “half-witted” are charged words, which suggest the author is trying for shock value rather than sense. If you can’t evaluate your own performance at something, you won’t be able to improve. If you can’t evaluate the values of other people and things, you can’t tell whether something is worth your time or not. Better advice: A rehash of 3. Don’t allow your emotions to cloud your judgment. Be fair and objective.

5. Give up on guilt. “Insane”? More charged language. If you, Mr. Author, need to suggest people go see a shrink, then you’re not qualified to call anyone insane. Better advice: Guilt helps us see whether we’ve done something wrong, but guilt, like all emotion, comes from within, not from others. If you truly have a reason to feel guilty, do something about it. Fix it. Or talk to a professional. If you’re being made to feel guilty by someone else, then you need to decide whether that feeling is in your best interest, or theirs.

6. Other people’s opinions. More rehash: people will tell you things for their own ends more often than for yours. People are more concerned about themselves than about you. Better advice: There’s no such things as “everyone says”. “Everyone” means *everyone* and not just the people you want to listen to. You decide how much weight other people’s opinions get. You decide which opinions matter to you. If the opinions only make you feel bad, how badly do you need to listen to them? Learn what you can from them and move on.

7. Numbers are “silly”. As a mathematician, I have a basic problem with this, so I’ll tell you what I tell my students. Better advice: Numbers divorced from common sense are not to be trusted. You can press the wrong buttons on your calculator and still get a number for an answer. That doesn’t make it the right answer. Examine any numbers you have to work with, and do a sanity check.

8. Plans aren’t good for anything much longer than a day or three. Goal-setting is an important tool for success. Sites like this live and die on advice about goals. Better advice: Any good strategy needs a Plan B. Be ready to be adaptable. If things don’t work out like you hoped, scrap the old plan and look for a new one. Just because it’s your plan, this doesn’t mean you’re stuck with it.

9. Taking responsibility for others shows a mental disability. That language again. Better advice: Take responsibility for your own actions, and let others worry about theirs. If we’re talking about a competent, grown adult, s/he can make choices for him/herself and s/he can live with the results. Be wary of others having to depend on you for their health and happiness, and don’t allow your own well-being to be placed in the hands of others. Take care of yourself.

10. You don’t have a personality. Ridiculous! If people didn’t have personalities, we couldn’t tell people apart except by sight or a DNA test. Even dogs have distinct personalities. Better advice: You are not stuck with your personality as it is now. If you want to change, you absolutely can. It requires perseverance and a lot of effort, but it can be done if you want it bad enough. Again, gather your strength.

All people have power. We have talents and strengths and we have will. (If you don’t believe you have free will, why are you reading articles about how to change your life? It’d be out of your hands….) Take control of your life where you can, make decisions, take responsibility for your decisions, and be true to who you are.

It’s a joke, people; and like many jokes, it rests on a truth.

I’m a psychotherapist – have been for decades – and often feel (whoa! those feelings again!) that psychotherapy has a lot to answer for. There was a time when Americans felt they needed to come over here and teach us tight-buttocked Limeys to let our feelings out (1968; T-groups, encounter groups, et c.); and make a buck while they did it.
But the feelings-fundamentalists (those buttocks again!) teaching us to ‘get out of our heads’ and get person-centered – OUR person and its ephemeral personality of course – have left a trail of ways to be unhappy behind them.

The inner critic always always speaks with someone else’s voice. Don’t listen.

‘What other people think of you’ is usually something you make up; for yourself; or for them. Stop it.

‘Don’t let others use you to avoid being responsible for their own decisions’ and don’t use others to avoid your own responsibility either. Sauce; goose; gander.

A persona (personality) is like shoes or shirts. You need to have a few at hand to suit different situations. We all have some.

Some people are weak; most people aren’t. Some people really can’t; most can. It’s not usually someone else’s fault.

People are amazing! What we have done and been on our evolutionary path tells us that we are capable of astonishing things.Work and discipline enable us to cope with most of the s**t that happens (the bums again!)

Seeing that we are strong, not weak is the message of these ten things.

And that’s no bad thing.

“The more you think about something bad, the more likely it is to happen. ”

Isn’t that what your whole post is doing though – focusing on the bad, on the ‘don’t'? Exactly what you told us not to do. The ‘do’ may be obvious to some of your readers, but by ignoring it, treating it as obvious and only talking about the don’t, you’re doing exactly what you tell us not to do.

you must listen to your inner critic. otherwise you will screw up again in the future.

so it’s true: Americans have no sense of irony. This article looks like it could have been lifted from one of the Dilbert books.

Was it posted on 1st of April ?

The author is messing with you…
(or parodying you – tho’ from your comments you do that best yourselves).

Stop procrastinating reading silly articles like this – and Get Things Done !

i felt awful for the longest time before reading this.

your emotions should not dictate your actions, just the opposite.

thank you for setting my brain straight.

From certain spiritual points of view the advice given in this article will be considered true (e. g. Advaita Vedanta). You find here thoughts that seem quite compatible with teachings of Eckhart Tolle, Gangaji, Ramana Maharshi, Nisargadatta Maharaj and many others.

Problem is: Most paople cannot simply do it. Someone said in their comment something like “you controll your thinking”. Well, if that is so, stop thinking for five minutes. Not the tiniest thought for only five minutes.

Well, how did it go?

Right. Most people cannot do it. Seems, it usually takes years and years of intensive meditation to get there.

And Neuro-science shows, that only a small fraction of our thoughts are conscious and can be controled. So we have little dominion here.

Still, I agree with many of the suggestions. Like: “let go of worrying. it often makes things worse”. True IMO. *But*… What if worrying is such a deep habit, maybe (almost) an addiction. After years or decades of habitual worrying, inner criticism, feeling guilty etc. it can even be compulsory. It may be comparable to giving up smoking – for some people it’s no big deal, they do it just like that, for others it is a major problem, next to impossible.

What seems to be a basic problem to most of that is that we have automatic emotional responses to (external or internal) stimuli and do not know how to deal with them. We’re not taught in school, for sure.
These can be complex and rigid programmings. The root of the programs lies in the body’s energy system (e. g. acupuncture deals with the energy system). If we can access the problem in the energy system we find new ways to solve those problems that do not easily give in to willpower or reason (ever tried to reason with a strong emotion?).

Here comes the cavallery: Energy Methods like EmoTrance (www.emotrance.com), EFT – Emotional Freedom Techniques (emofree.com) and others operate on the energy level. They can (sometimes very easily and quickly and usually for good) resolve programmed reactions. There are thousands of cases that show: they work.

And these methods are not (only) for therapy and the like, they can be used in every day life.
Use them to
- stop endless loops of worrying
- reduce or eleminate fellings of guilt
- reduce your concern what others may say
- not be afraid of certain things/situations
- etc etc.

The creator gave us a conscious mind and emotions. There probably was a good reason to do so. Seems we lost the manual and don’ really know how to use our equipment. Energy methods fill that gap at least partially.

Someone said “If it isn’t fun, it isn’t EmoTrance, yet.”
So it is not only about not messing up your life and to arrive at “normal” or “average”. It is about feeling great and being happy.

Don’t worry, be happy. Energy methods help us do it.

I dont have comment or whatsoever, the idea is good and interesting because i believe this statements comes from serious studies and survey. i admit some idea is applicable in my part and some are not which perhaps i dont believe it could be that very way the way the subject stated and explain. as for me, our way of defining life or living with it, is base on how we understand things that already pass and anticipate things that might come. i still believe in fate but i still have a choice to which way i go, this is who we are as human. i think the best way not to mess up your life is to be righteous and kind. its as simple as painting a colorful masterpiece to a canvas eiher that canvas is black or white.

this list sucks. you can make big money with it (like many people are doing, check the self-help section in barnes and nobles), but it still sucks. you suck too, btw. believe me, i’m ascended master. and right now i ascend your ass with my words.

I like the last one the most. We limit ourselves because we focus on being certain traits. We are who we are if u dont like how you act then control urself. We interpret our life not the people around us. This is very useful I think it gives me more relief.

and to ppl who thinks this list is a waste of time… well I want you to remember your not the only people in this world who exist with actual problems. Or if thats the case I’m sorry the world cant be as perfect as you. Why try to bring ppl down on their life because it sounds like your worrying about peoples lives more than your own. Though I do agree that people should get things done and just do it than read it… Well maybe some people just need some inspiration to do so. It takes time to do things but yeah… though we shouldnt probably hang over on this list as much. But it’s the way you look at it this list. I dont control anyones opinions so just think what you want.

your article is very true and very helpful to many peolpe, except it should not be called “ways to save yourself from messing up your life” instead i should be called ways of saving yourself from this depression that happen’s to everybody once in there lives, like that IMO guy that sent you a reply, i mean what’s the use of cutting youself or crying all night as a result of what people think or say!!!

Great tips! Many people can be happier if they adjust their attitude. Misery is only an option — instead, focus on finding happiness.

dis man hasnt got a clue about life,he has probly had a nice easy one and he thinks its hard.lets see him go through all the bullshit of a hard life and do these things.in an ideal world these might work but were in REALITY!

good article. thanx

i think you’re completely wrong.

and that’s basically my opinion of what you’ve written.

it’s like you’ve missed the nail all together.

you’re telling people how to be mindless drones and loners.

emotions, feelings, people, events. THEY make us happy.

because at the end of the day, a sack of bones and skin is pathetic.

i can’t believe some people are taking you seriously.

that’s just sad and i feel like you’ve given them the wrong idea all together.

yes, it’s about taking control for yourself. being confident by smiling more, talking more about yourself, engaging with people, walking a little sassier down the street.

i hope people realise its up to them to find their happiness. not you.

no one can mess up their life. there is no wrong in life.

its just life. without pain, we would not have pleasure.

tupac said it best, JUST DONT GIVE A FUCK, wonderful article btw

Very nice article.

If there is one thing all the negative comments prove, it is how profound the article is. People must want to change, but most actually prefer their current station of suffering. For some, you could present the absolute truth, and they would still find fault.

hahahaha.

spot on article!
as evident by the response there has been. you cannot foresee nor understand, ever, the limitations or extent of others peoples’ level of understanding.

Have no internal criticism whatsoever! Go through life believing your awesome! Never consider that you might be a douchebag! It worked for Gene Simmons!

I really agree that we don’t really have a fixed personality, we can’t blame anybody.

U r gr8 bro .

Hi, Thanks for sharing such a wonderful piece of information. I must say that while reading your post I found my thoughts in agreement with the topic that you have discussed, which happens very rare.

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I think this is a great article. I’ve enjoyed a lot of success in my life, but increasingly found a sense of growing discontent. I’ve found almost without exception when I’m happiest, I’m moving forward, taking action, and not worried about any internal dialogue, not worried with trying to read the minds of others, not trying to make myself happy by making everyone else around me happy. If the advice in this article makes sense to you – follow it! It will help tremendously. If it sounds like total bullshit – and obviously it does to some of the folks that have commented here – perhaps you should be grateful that you haven’t found yourself bogged down in some of these miserable mental feedback loops. Good for you. You should be happy, but may also want to consider reflecting on what internal need you were able to meet by posting such strong negative feedback.

 I really think that all the people that criticise this article, don’t understand. Maybe are too young, I don’t know. But this doesn’t have anything to do with lack of self criticism, but with the internal judge we all have inside. Is a very strong judge, very powerful and a very vile, mean, uncompassionate dude. You will learn to fear it, and maybe then you will understand. thak you so much for your words, Mr. Savage. PS: The people who understand this article for its true meaning are those who change themselves for good, and hence, the state of things. The ones who doesn’t, please stop f*ck*ng complaining. You are in love with your own punishment, so, enjoy it and stop searching for justification.