So someone said no. You asked someone to participate in a joint venture, tried to close a sale, invited someone to be your social media friend, and they said no. And you felt that uncomfortable feeling of having put yourself “out there” on a limb, only to look over and see that someone’s sawing the limb out from under you. It’s a weird, stomach-turning feeling, isn’t it? But it doesn’t have to be.
- Someone will always say no. Someone else will say yes.
Previous results are no indicator of future success. So if you’ve gotten a bunch of nos, so what? You might get a yes tomorrow. And if one person says no, that has no bearing on what the next person will say. - If you get a no, you’re no worse off than before you asked.
Before you ask, you definitely have a no. If you don’t ask, the result is the same as if you get a no. If you ask and get a no, you’re in exactly the same boat. If you ask and get a yes, though, you’re off and running. If you put your ego out there, though, that’s when you get a little damaged. That’s why you have to move to #3. - When you ask, don’t attach yourself to the answer.
When you ask for the sale or whatever else it is, you can’t be attached to the answer or you will get hurt. The “no” rarely has anything to do with you. If you’ve invited a big name to be a part of a joint venture or a conference, they might say no because they’re overwhelmed with time commitments. If you’ve asked someone to hire you, they might say no because they can’t afford you. Don’t attach yourself to the answer, and you’ll handle those nos with grace. - Handling a no with grace can mean future business.
If someone says no now, they may be willing to say yes later. Handling a no with grace means you’ll have no hesitation about going back to them next month or next year to bring something else to the table.
It’s not exactly rejection when someone says no. It’s more than likely that the no has nothing to do with you anyway. If you stay detached from the results and stay engaged in your business relationships regardless of the outcome, you’ll have no problem continuing to go out on that limb over and over.
Some firms actually give out bonuses to people who reach a certain “no” quota. Every time you get a no, you’re statistically more likely to get a yes. Actually, many veteran salespeople are actually afraid of getting a “yes” streak because they know that a “no” streak is just around the corner.
Nice post Susan. When someone says no to us, it’s not as if anything changed. We were still in the same position before they said no. If we can absorb every single no out there, eventually someone will say yes to us.
Susan – I think that no is the biggest blessing out there. Once you get used to it, there is nothing much left to fear. Now I’m into year two of my enterprise I’ve realized its nothing personal and avoid any self-judgment. A great, punchy and powerful post – thanks.
Every NO brings us closer to YES. Getting past the fear of NO is huge. Thanks, Susan for a great post.
Hi :)
Just want to thank you a lot for writing this article right at the time when i needed it most, to move past my fear & inertia, that hinders me for already about 6-7 years from my true, actual dreams & fullest potential of who I am!
thank you very much, very good & inspiring article!
Nice post Susan. When someone says no to us, it’s not as if anything changed. We were still in the same position before they said no.
Great post. As a shy person, I find very hard the switch from “please help me” to a “how can I help us” mentality. Stuff like this really helps.
Nice piece!
Your point no.1 brings to mind something someone said to me about 7 years ago when I started a sales role. He said, “Just remember the 3 S’s – Some will…Some wont…..So What.”
At the same time – No.3 is timely advice. You get attached – you feel like a failure.
Thanks for these super points.
To really make it in life you must be tough enough to roll with the punches!
Success is not easy, if it was such a breeze everyone would have the life they crave and we all know that is not the case.
No’s are just a part of life, you cannot get to happy with success of to off track with failure.
This is just part of running a business some people say no and you just have to expect that you can’t get everyone.
It took me a while to not get hurt with rejections. I used to take it personally. But then after some time, it dawned on me that I might not really be the reason for the rejection. I’ve become more sane and rational these days.
I like the post Susan
what is really in business when it said ‘do not take it personally’ is the such a thing really?