I’m a big believer in the self-talking power of the personal mission statement. Over the course of my life I have found it’s so helpful to periodically ask myself, “Who do I want to be, and how am I going to become that person?” The answer can, and invariably has changed over the course of the years. There are times I laugh at my own answers, and there are other times I take them very seriously. Every time I’ll focus better.

Because it works so well for me, I’ve tried using this question in the management coaching I do too, and I’ve found it’s exceptionally helpful for the newbie manager and newly-promoted supervisor, rephrasing it to, “Who do you want to be, and how will you become that person?” Middle management can be this vast land of no identity that people wander upon, hoping to find some well-worn trail of better direction.

The thought I have for you today, is that that when you are a manager, wanting to “be the best boss ever” would be a really terrific personal mission. Here’s an excerpt from Managing with Aloha;

“To execute their jobs well, employees need teachers, coaches, cheerleaders and mentors, and that’s what managers need to be for them. Great managers relish the opportunity.

Instinctively most managers know this. It’s probably the reason that one of the earliest traps new supervisors often fall into is trying to be best friend or after-work beer buddy to their employees. Well, take it from someone who has seen this strategy backfire time and again; employees don’t really want you to be a father figure, second mother, best friend, soul mate, or even confidant. They want you to be their boss! A strategy-mapping, consistent, objective, organized and predictable boss with an inspiring vision, and a boss who has the same high expectations for everyone they manage—including themselves. You will seldom, if ever, come across employees who say that to you directly; however, when that’s what you deliver, many will thank you for being the kind of leader they wanted. They will recognize in you the manager they needed. They will sing your praises as their best boss ever.

When you hire people they come connected. Your employees have families and friends. Your role as their manager is a different one, and it is one they come on board expecting you to fill—boss! Your role is to support them in a way that will help them forge good relationships in the branches of the personal network they already have. You do so by keeping them positive and optimistic in their work.”

Think about the best boss you have ever had. Chances are that part of the reason that relationship worked so well for both of you is that there was no confusion of roles. Chances are, that person tried to be only one thing for you, a great boss. “Boss” can be someone people admire, someone people respect, and someone people count on and ask for mentorship from.

The only place you can find and benefit from a relationship like that, is at work.

The work of being a manager can take on a whole new viewpoint of opportunity when you realize that this is who you can be for someone else. Being the “best boss ever” is a great role to pursue.

How to start? Here are some related posts:

Rosa Say is the author of Managing with Aloha, Bringing Hawaii’s Universal Values to the Art of Business. She fervently believes that work can inspire, and that great managers and leaders can change our lives for the better. You can also visit her on www.managingwithaloha.com. Rosa writes for Lifehack.org to freely offer her coaching to those of us who aspire to be greater than we are, for she also believes in us. Writing on What Great Managers Do is one of her favorite topics.

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