There are an endless number of reasons that things might not be going your way. But not all of them are external. You can benefit from taking control of your life and changing what you believe needs to be changed. Here is a list of 10 things to stop doing in order to lead your life in the direction you want.

1. Stop whining.

Notice I said “whining,” and not “venting” or “expressing frustration.” Whining is negative. It does nothing to improve your situation or your mood (or the mood of whoever has to listen to you). If you need to get something off your chest, you should do it. You’ll feel a burden being lifted. However, whining is totally unproductive. Examine your emotions and see what you can do to change whatever is frustrating you.

2. Stop losing perspective.

Is your problem short term? Is it likely that things will start going your way once X, Y, and Z happen? If the answer to those questions is “yes,” then remove yourself from your immediate situation and focus on the long term.

3. Stop comparing.

So what if someone else is better at something than you are? You have a particular set of skills and knowledge that others don’t have, and the reverse is true as well. You are your own worst critic, so ease up and stop comparing yourself to everyone else.

4. Stop forgetting past failures.

The best thing about failure is that you can learn from it. Often, you can learn even more from a failure than a success. Keep your failures in mind as a way to better yourself.

5. Stop seeing problems as roadblocks.

Just as you can learn from failure, you can also learn from the problems you’re currently facing. Instead of getting frustrated, take a step back to evaluate the situation and figure out what you can do about it.

6. Stop getting too attached.

Dreams, goals, desires, aspirations, whatever you want to call them. Everyone has them, but many people get too emotionally attached to them. Things can get dicey whenever emotions are involved and sometimes, no matter how hard you try, things just don’t work out the way you had hoped they would. Keep your dreams, but keep a little bit of space in between your emotions and your desires. It will save you a lot of heartache later on.

7. Stop giving up.

You’re in charge of your life. When you give up, the only person to blame is you. Giving up cannot be an option for you if you want to get things going your way. You have to work at it.

8. Stop losing faith.

Things can always change, and you’re often in control of that. If a situation isn’t going your way, don’t lose faith that it could change. Believing in yourself and the potential for things to go your way is powerful and will help you find the strength to do what’s best for you.

9. Stop trying to be someone you’re not.

Remember who you are and what you stand for. Changing yourself, in the hopes that other things might change too, is not a good idea. You’ll feel miserable trying to be a different person. And if you’ve been in middle school, where everyone tries to be someone they’re not, you know just how exhausting that charade can be.

10. Stop obsessing.

Don’t stress too much about something. Obsessing too much over one thing can be draining, and might cause the situation to get worse. Sometimes, it’s good to step back and give that situation slightly less attention. You’ll feel better without the added stress of obsession.

Featured photo credit: (scream)/Greg Westfall via flickr.com

Love this article?