You CAN avoid a Blue Christmas.
We’re well into the Christmas holiday season once again.
This is a time of the year when most people are busy rushing to the malls buying gifts, attending parties, gathering with friends and family, and being merry. Indeed for many, this season is the most wonderful and happiest time of the year.
However, not everyone will be celebrating this holiday season merrily.
There are some who feel lonely and unhappy during this time of the year. Their loneliness may come from loss of loved ones through death, separation by physical distance, or through breakups. Other reasons may be that person is anti-social or too busy to participate in this festive season.
If you feel lonely and unhappy during the holiday season, here are some tips on how to deal with loneliness — and how to make your Christmas holiday merrier.
1. Stop excluding yourself and go out.
If you are feeling lonely and down this Christmas holiday, instead of clinging to self-pity and seclusion (which will only worsen your loneliness), push yourself to go out and attend holiday parties and gatherings. I’m sure there are lots you can choose from, such as those held by your close friends and family, the community you live in, in school, or at work.
Attending Christmas holiday parties is a chance for you to meet different kinds of people. By being surrounded with lots of people — especially happy and positive people — you won’t feel as lonely as you do now.
2. Reach out to old friends and family.
You are given 365 days in a year, and you spend much of it minding your own life. As a result, you are so busy working that you neglect to find time to connect with family or friends. Now is the time to reach out to old friends or family you’ve neglected to give time and priority this year. Don’t be afraid to initiate.
As they say: if you want something, you just have to ask.
3. Volunteer to a cause or event.
During Christmas, there are many charitable events and causes formed by different organizations that serve to help and make this season merrier to less fortunate people such as the poor and sick. You can find one organization around you and take the initiative to join the cause.
The benefit of joining these kinds of events will give you a different sense of happiness when you are able to help and make someone else happy. Also, it’s an opportunity for you to realize that your situation isn’t as bad as you think it is. There are more people who are less fortunate and lonelier than you are. Get inspiration and strength from them.
4. Give gifts to people around you.
Gift-giving is one of the famous activities during Christmas holiday season. The act of giving is a symbol of remembering the people in your lives, as well as a way to share one’s blessings.
There’s a saying that goes:
“A sure way to be happy is to make someone else’s happy.”
Cure your loneliness by making another person happy. One way to do that is by giving gifts to those other than your friends and family. Give gifts to people like your office maintenance personnel, guards, co-workers, bus or taxi drivers — all the people that may not affect your life significantly and yet somehow they all are part of your life.
You don’t need to give an expensive gift, something even as simple as a Christmas greeting card will be fine. I’m sure you will feel happy once you see the surprised (and happy) expression on their faces once you hand them their gifts.
5. Focus your thoughts on what you have — instead of what you don’t have.
Often the reason for our loneliness and unhappiness roots from our thoughts or mindset. We focus our thoughts on what we don’t have instead of what we have – that’s why we always feel incomplete and unfulfilled.
During this joyous season, cure your loneliness by doing the opposite. Focus your thoughts on what you have instead of what you don’t have. Be grateful for all the blessings and opportunities you’ve had this year. Once you start pinpointing the things you were grateful for and blessed with this year, I’m sure you will realize that your life isn’t as bad as you think it is.
I hope you were able to pick up valuable tools on how to deal with loneliness during holiday season. Use these to make this time of the year a merry and joyous event. If you have any others to add, please do so in the comments.
(Photo credit: Lonely Santa Girl with Presents via Shutterstock)
It is a conscious decision to be happy. It requires tons of effort but it is definitely worth it.
i agree.happiness is a daily choice. :)
I plan to keep my priorities straight and straighten out my priorities. Make myself happy in my life and work, and thus, hopefully, please everyone else. That…and a couple of horrendous kitchen and desk drawers.
that’s a great plan. :)
Count your blessings, not what’s lacking.
i agree. thanks for sharing!
This is a very important article to share as I’m sure that many people, even those who are doing well financially through these tougher times, can get caught up with loneliness during the holiday season. I hope there will be more such articles throughout the year.
It is my belief that times of celebration create expectations beyond the normal life routine and this is what makes people feel less adequate, more alone, more poverty stricken and so on.
Although there are some nice ideas and suggestions in this article (such as listing all things to be grateful for) it is also an oversimplification and shows a lack of understanding re. causes of loneliness ie. it is a bit of a ‘snap out of it’ approach… not to mention it seems to be at the extrovert end of the scale and extroverts are not usually the lonely onesSo instead of suggesting attendance at parties and work gatherings etc. (where often a lonely person can feel even more lonely), why not suggest visiting one or two friends or inviting them for a seasonal catch up a glass of wine and a quiet time?You mention a person who has suffered grief or a break up might be lonely, they might also be depressed and extending oneself here there and everyone with gift giving and volunteering and so on may not be the key at all (not that volunteering isn’t good), but perhaps some acceptance of solitude and time to see it’s value through walking, communing with nature, meditating, building on one’s own gifts and abilities, thinking about ways to develop friendships and relationships in the new year so they are stronger and more successful, looking at the cause of a break up and learning from it, and acknowledging that the emphasis on parties and gifts may be the thing causing the loneliness and not the being alone at all. Because there is nothing wrong with enjoying some quiet time and reflecting on the year ahead, and to be sometimes alone, or with just a few family members or close friends. In short, I think the solution is to not get caught up in expectations that are not relevant to you a this time, or because of your disposition or circumstances. Being surrounded by people is not for everyone even at this time of year: “tis the season to be jolly” just doesn’t wash when your husband or child or someone close just died, or when you just last week broke up with someone who left you feeling confused or less worthy, or when you lost your job or house or etc. Low key is the key to not feeling lonely. Be satisfied with a little instead of expecting a big WOHAAHA!
The Holidays are a spiritually/mentally testing time of year.