If you happen to freeze in social situations, and you can’t get yourself to talk to people, then you know how many opportunities for good friends and good fun you’ve missed out on. Maybe it’s time to learn how to be social.
What if you could talk to people whenever you want, keep the conversation going, stay in touch, meet again, make friends, and build a great friend circle? How much more and fun and interesting would your life be?
Having a great social life boils down to a set of simple changes in mindset and behavior, this article will get you started at being able to talk to people whenever you want to. But first…
The problem here is that you’re labeling normal behavior as rejection, which means you’re just not reading the signs correctly. Once you learn how to read the signs, you’ll realize how rare it is to be really rejected by anyone; it almost never happens.
The thing is, even if you’re be a very powerful and in-demand person, there always going to be people who don’t feel in the mood to talk, don’t have time to hang out, or just don’t have room for new friends. If you interpret all that as “something wrong with you,” then you’re being too hard on yourself.
If you only focus on learning how to socialize and how to make friends, then the fear of social rejection will become a vague memory from your past.
Being at the right place is insanely important when it comes to connecting with new people.
Avoid places where it’s not appropriate or natural to go out to someone and say “Hi, my name is so and so…” It’s much harder to socialize in these kinds of places, because people don’t go there to make new friends, but rather, to hang out with their existing friends in a closed group.
Instead, go to places where people come alone or in a small group to meet new people. In situations like these, it’s easy to just walk up to anyone and introduce yourself. If you focus on going to these places, you’ll make your social life 10 times easier to build. I’m talking about places like trade shows, exhibitions, talks and seminars, opening nights, meetup events, etc.
The best way to start a conversation with people is to start with what they’re focused on. Most of the time, you’ll find people concerned about what’s going on in their life, and that’s where to start. Forget what you’re worried about, stop thinking about yourself and focus on them.
This means that you’re going to show interest in them, ask questions, and find the unique things about the other person.
You can do this by saying things like, “Interesting, tell me more!” or ask the question “Why?” When someone tells you about a certain industry they’re in, a class they’re taking, or a hobby, ask, “why?” That will get the conversation to be a little more intimate and interesting.
Stop trying to make yourself give a good impression. Be more human, and you’ll be far better at conversations. When you meet new people, don’t fall in the trap of only saying things that are impressive, cool, perfect-sounding, or clever–that’s not going to help you.
I suggest that you say even things that you’re not very proud of, and show that you’re human. You don’t have to reveal the most embarrassing things about yourself, but you can be just a tiny bit more honest and authentic.
Just after you do that, you could notice people turning their bodies more and more toward you, looking at you with open eyes and wider smiles. Why? Because you’re a human being like them, and they love that.
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