How To Quietly Build A Social Life
As an introvert, you love to spend time by yourself, or with a few old friends, but also feel a deep need for meeting new people. You also don’t want to pretend to be a big schmoozing extrovert.
Lucky for you, there is a middle ground. You don’t have to change your nature to have the friends you want.
The Key Is Efficiency
Because many of you are introverts, I will only share techniques that produce great results with little effort.
So, how do you become efficient in your socializing efforts? You focus on habits and automation, instead of motivation and effort. Here are two life hacks to get you started.
1. Go Out And Meet New People Once A Month
It seems simple when you read it, but getting out to meet new people as rarely as once a month can make a big difference. The fact is that you always need to be meeting new people. Not everyone will be a good fit for you, and not everyone will stick around forever, especially if you’re in your 20s or 30s.
The key here is to get out and meet new people once a month, every month. Make it a habit and stick to it. After all, once a month is very low-stress. At the same time, never confuse “meeting new people” with “meeting people”. It’s very important to go out and meet people you never knew before.
What I recommend is to commit to helping some sort of community group that has the kind of people you want as friends. When you find a good group, go to the organizing team and offer to help.
The easiest way to do this is to approach a social group or community and join them as a volunteer. Commit to helping with every monthly event.
This little change will instantly make you genuine connections with people from that community, and you don’t even have to sweat it. People tend to come to meet you when you are part of the group hosting an event.
And because there is a commitment there, even small, you’ll never need motivation to do it; you’ll just go. This is actually the easiest way to build a genuine circle of friends.
2. Think Of Your Friends…Once A Week
Again, if you have to remember to take care of your social life, you probably won’t do it. This is why I suggest that you focus on building the habits, once and for all, so that you don’t have to think about what to do or when to do it.
With lots of trial and error, I’ve found out that for an introvert, it’s ideal to do all your socializing once a week, at a specific time, and then move on. If you have to force it, if it’s a drag on your schedule, you probably will let go of it.
Here are some specific steps you can take…
- Go to your online calendar app…
- Create a “recurring event”…
- Name it “let’s do some socializing”…
- Save it for Tuesday at 8pm…
- Move on!
Once you’ve done that, you can enjoy the rest of the week, without worrying about “Am I alienating people by not reaching out?” or “I really need to be more social.”
This works because on that specific time of the week, you can call, text, email, and make plans with the people you know, and the new people you meet at those events. All you have to do is spend an hour per week and reach out.
The magic of the calendar reminds you to do your weekly socializing, and you can enjoy your work and your “me time” for the rest of the week.
Are you ready to give it a try? Let us know in the comments below…
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