A better love life is within reach for anyone. It only takes desire and concerted effort to make headway. The following 9 steps will lead any person to have a love life they can treasure.

Step 1. Nurture your self-love.

As one gets older, no truer statement becomes more real for us than the words, “If you don’t love yourself, you will not have the love life you want.”

When there is a lack of self-love, there is also a shortage of self-respect and self-compassion. Absence of these fundamental feelings for oneself will create an environment where a person will tolerate mistreatment all too easily.

A person who has healthy self-love values his or her feelings and well-being. They require a certain amount of respect, kindness, and gratitude from their significant other.

Step 2. Know what you bring to the table.

This is permission to toot your own horn. Write down and own what is wonderful and amazing about you.

The more you know what you are worth, the more it becomes apparent to others. Developing a healthy sense of self-confidence will boost your love life to the next level because nothing is sexier than a self-assured person.

Step 3. Clearly express your wants and needs.

Speak up and ask for what will make you happier and improve your love life.

Effectively communicating your wants and needs will speed up the process of advancing your love life to something that you adore.

As you nurture self-love and confidence, it will become easier to ask for what you want. Your darling will appreciate your honesty and forthrightness because it will be clear to them what they need to do to make you happy and feel loved.

Step 4. Make your physical body sexy to you.

What do you think is sexy? Perhaps it’s soft skin, toned muscles, plump booty, to a name a few.

Whatever it is that you think is sensual, do that for yourself. Wear perfume, put on pretty undergarments, workout and boost your sexy factor.

When a person feels sexy, it’s pretty dazzling to others too. When your better half sees how you take care of yourself, he or she will take notice and your love life can’t help but benefit.

Step 5. Explore your body and know what turns you on.

Until our partners can read our minds, we need to speak up and steer them into what makes us feel loved. Some people are good at reading body language, some are not. Make it easier for your mate to satisfy you by telling him or her what turns you on.

A healthy love life includes a healthy sex life. Sex between two people who love each other is one way to express that love.

To feel connected, seen, and satisfied in this intimate way will do wonders to enrich your love life.

Step 6. Learn to listen.

From our lover describing what turns him or her on, to them talking about their day, listen intently.

When people feel heard — that is, when they have a sense that what they are saying is being understood and taken into consideration — they feel connected and respected.

These feelings create immense satisfaction; it’s like rainbows, unicorns, and chocolate all in one to them. Such emotions confirm that they have made the right choice in who to love.

Speaking from personal experience, when my love makes me feel heard, I see him through rose colored glasses and my heart expands.

Step 7. Practice heart expansion with your loved one.

Heart expansion is acting in a way that makes your heart explode with love and goodness. Conversely, heart contraction is doing things that make you feel sad, angry, and unloved.

When you practice heart expansion with your partner, you do things for them that make them feel good, but also, it makes you feel great.

For example, your loved one has been working long hours all week so you decide to make a special dinner, draw them a bath, or provide space for them to have some quiet time. Whatever it is you do, it’s something that makes them feel loved and cared for. At the same time, this generosity expands your heart which makes you cherish your love life.

Step 8. Cultivate your friendship.

Your lover does not have to be your best friend, but he or she should be a good friend. A person whom you can easily talk to, hang out with, and of course, is loyal through and through.

This other aspect of your connection will contribute to the health and longevity of your relationship.

The deeper the bond you have with your significant other, the greater the loving feelings you develop. This results into a more intimate experience in love making.

Step 9. Learn to love your partner’s imperfections.

There is a Japanese term and world view called wabi-sabi which translates to finding beauty in imperfection. It’s derived from Buddhist teachings where impermanence is accepted and understood as the way of life.

There is no faultless partner or perfect love life. There is only our good perception of our other half and the ideal love situation we desire. Therefore, as we look upon them, we need to see their imperfections as part of their beauty.

The more beauty we see in our spouse — that is, looking at him or her in their totality and truly seeing what makes them special — the more reasons we can find to love them.

With a wabi-sabi attitude towards our lover, we can create the love life we always dreamed of.

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