A Shove with Love - A Kickstart to Change.
Stepping into reality
Thought we might be a little less theoretical and philosophical, and a bit more practical today. Always nice to get out of our head and into reality. We all have behaviours and habits that we need to change and from time to time we all need a little encouragement and support, possibly a vigorous shove, to get under way. So I’m here today to give you a shove. You can relax and feel safe in the knowledge that I am a fully qualified and vastly experienced shover. I have shoved many over my journey, including a few statues who have made the job pretty tough. I know that some of you are career procrastinators who have been about to address certain less-than-desirable habits forever; always at the brink of something life-changing but never quite there. And that some of you have even started (four hundred times) but never actually maintained.
The caring sledgehammer
Knowing that many of you are perpetually waiting for the magical and mythical ‘right time’ (it doesn’t exist) and knowing that many of you struggle to create and maintain momentum, I thought that today I might give some of you a shove with love. You may even like it. I’ll be gentle. Gentle like a sledgehammer. A caring sledgehammer.
Yep, I want you to identify one habit which you really need to change right now. Not soon, now. Not when it suits you, now. Not when you’re comfortable to do so, now. It can be any behaviour which is impacting negatively in some area of your life. It might be about food or exercise, it could be alcohol or drug related, it could have something to do with how you treat yourself or others, it might pertain to work, home or somewhere else. It may have something to do with how you deal with or react to certain situations, circumstances, events or people. It might be about your lifestyle, your finances, your long-term goals or perhaps some other kind of destructive habit (lying, stealing, violence, self-abuse, obsessive behaviours). You know what you need to change.
We all want to move from the negative to the positive in our life, that’s why we come to this site. But there needs to come a time when we stop planning, talking and thinking and start doing. Thinking doesn’t create change, doing does. Some of you think too much and do too little. You know it.
One habit at a time
The reason I want you to identify one habit (only) for this 28-day project is because the more things we try to change in a short time, the less likely we are to maintain those behaviours (what we want) and create life-long results. By identifying our single most destructive habit and addressing that in a strategic, practical and un-emotional manner, we greatly increase our chances of success. People who try to undo years of bad behaviours and change fifty habits in a short amount of time invariably fail. So let’s do what works.
Of course 28 days isn’t a lifetime but it’s enough time for me (and the other readers) to help you generate some momentum, build some enthusiasm and hopefully start to create some new habits, behaviours and attitudes to get you where you want to go over the long term. Of course I can only get you started, and of course, ultimately it all comes back to you. But for some of you, this little project might just be a life-changing process - if YOU make it so.
How to get involved.
Click on the comment thingy and tell me (us) the following.
- The habit you’re going to address over the 28 days.
- Why it’s necessary for you to change that habit.
- Why it will be different this time.
Keep it short(ish), we don’t need an essay - just the facts, Jack (or Jaclyn). If you are uncomfortable leaving your name then do it anonymously but keep in mind that public declarations can often be an effective way to create and maintain momentum. Name or not - it’s not crucial.
Okay, stop over-thinking, get off the fence, click on the comment thingy and tell us what amazing things you’re gonna do over the next 28 days.
Ciao Kids.
WRITER'S BIOGRAPHY
Craig Harper
Craig Harper (B.Ex.Sci.) is a qualified exercise scientist, author, columnist, radio presenter, television host, motivational speaker and university lecturer. For the past 25 years he has been a leading presenter, educator, motivator and commentator in the areas of personal and professional development. You can visit Craig's blog at Motivational Speaker.
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Comments
Carikate says on June 19th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Wonderful idea!
I’ll start…
–I’m going to go outside and walk for at least 10 minutes EVERY day.
–I’m severely overweight and agoraphobic.
–I just got my very first MP3 player, so using that while I walk will help me to stop thinking. If I’m just reacting, not thinking so much, I don’t get as afraid.
Anybody have any ideas for positive things to listen to?
Dan says on June 19th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
1. The habit: not following my normal workout schedule
2. The why: I need to get in shape to be more competitive for outdoor volleyball season, to prep for indoor volleyball season, to make myself more attractive to my girlfriend and to improve my selfconfidence.
3. The difference: The deadline. Its not the most enjoyable, but I work well with deadlines and pressure. I’m going to find a volleyball tournament just over 30 days from now, sign up for it at one or two levels higher than I normally play. For me to have a prayer of doing respectably, I need to definitely be in better shape than I am now.
Shanel Yang says on June 19th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
1. Finish decluttering my home and continue putting everything back in its place.
2. I need to find a document and also figure out what I do have and don’t have and where.
3. I have a lot of support and motivation to stay frugal and decluttered thanks to discovering the great online communities on various self help websites! : )
Paesley says on June 19th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
I need to stop my negative self-talk in its tracks. This is especially important, as I am prone to depression.
The first step is recognizing when it’s happening. Then I can stop momentarily, acknowledge what’s causing it, and consciously choose another direction by focusing my thoughts affirmatively. The further I go down the negative path, the harder it is pull myself back. I’m much better at this than I used to be, but stressful times can cause quite a bit of backsliding.
Well, times are stressful now, so here’s a great opportunity to work on this. Why do I think it will work this time? Because I’m determined to improve myself, live a happier life, and give more to those around me. Negativity is a huge obstacle to that. But I can choose to affirm my life. Thanks for the virtual kick in the pants.
Phil says on June 19th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Habit: goofing around at work
Why: It makes me depressed and feel bad about myself preventing me from looking for a better job.
Different: I’m trying to focus on how I feel when working hard and doing a good job and forget about how we’re treated by management that makes me frustrated and depressed. Sharing this with the world will help too.
Good luck everyone and thanks for the shove Craig!
Journeyer says on June 19th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Habit: Doing the housework before I start “working” (playing) on non-essential things.
I’m finding more and more I’m getting distracted by more fun things than doing my “job” of running the home. My family and I all deserve more.
This time it will be different because of public declaration and humiliation if I fail
David says on June 19th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
I’m going to take care of the business of the day at work before I start surfing the net. I work a slow shift and I’ve noticed myself putting off opportunities for professional growth because I come to work and “have fun” rather than actually working.
Sarah W. says on June 20th, 2008 at 2:12 am
That sledgehammer looks painful…
Habit: Assuming that I’m not worthy.
Why: Losing out on opportunities because I don’t give them a try or present myself favorably.
Different: I don’t think I’ve actually tried to change this specifically. I’ve got the tools now and I’m more aware of when I think I’m not worthy.
Walter says on June 20th, 2008 at 5:59 am
I will work on my comedy project (on which I have been procrastinating for months) for an hour everyday.
Mary says on June 20th, 2008 at 10:59 am
1: Putting things off until the day/weekend/month…
2: It’s gotten to the point where I’ve put my life permanently on pause because all the actions that would help me to progress have been put off time and time again.
3: I think this time I can have both familial and professional pressure that been brought to bear on me and combining that with online support and feedback should finally push me over the hump.
Summer Fey Foovay says on June 20th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
1. sensible financial habits
2. I want to raise my credit rating and start saving both for emergency needs and for a couple of large purchases I wish to make
3. I finally have a strong picture of what I want to accomplish
Rob says on June 20th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
I will keep track of my time and enter it to make sure I am working on meaningful things
Joe says on June 20th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
1. The habit of opting to sit at home, idly browsing websites (not *actively* like I am now - but just wasting time), instead of doing a plethora of things I’ve committed to do for myself, but specifically - working out on a regular schedule.
2. It’s an absolute MUST to change this habit now, because I’ve been single for 6 months, getting progressively in worse shape, I’m about to graduate from college, and I’m at a turning point where I can either become a fat slouch with a dull future, or a fit, healthy, active person who achieves his goals and dreams.
3. It will be different this time because I have everything to gain and nothing to lose - because I will start IMMEDIATELY, and use all spare resources and time to focus on and master this goal, and continually renew my decision to get into peak physical shape.
Leo says on June 23rd, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Joe, I feel we are in the same boat.
My habit/addiction is my computer. I’ll game and browse game-related websites instead of studying, which is starting to affect my grades. This is my last summer break and next year I’ll graduate; if I don’t make it now, when will I?
I need to stop this destructive behavior and fulfill my true potential, NOW!
Ryan says on June 23rd, 2008 at 8:10 pm
1. I will take the time every day to write in my journal.
2. I do not write enough in it and back when I did I felt more present and grounded in my life. Also, it helps me organize my thoughts and occasionally lets me see things in other ways.
3. During other attempts, I would write that I need to do it every day but then just forget or put it off, etc. I excused myself too many times.
This time it’ll work! We can do this people!
Aurooba says on June 23rd, 2008 at 11:32 pm
i have only one habit that I want to tackle for the next 28 days:
giving things a home and putting them back in their home
i’ve struggled with this for years…it’s time to end it.
Paul Freeman says on June 25th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
I’ve just started to work through Richard Hittleman’s Yoga 28 Day Exercise plan, which each starting with a few basic moves each day adds some new movements, or extends existing ones to gradually build up your routine, and adds a page of “Thought for the day” type material, complete with tons of detailed (And very 60s!) photos.
I’ve only completed day two so far, but the fact it actually gives a tutored direction, rather then just throwing you into a routine seems to really work, and it’s really helping me get into a pattern doing some yoga daily.
Shweta says on June 26th, 2008 at 2:34 am
The thing I wanna change is:
Get up early in the morning at 6:00 AM daily
That’s it…I want to wake up at 6:00 everyday…from now on
Leki says on June 26th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
I want to be able to take action consistently. I find self lazy and procrastinating most of the time. This has result in problems and lost opportunities for me. I want to stick to my goals and tasks on a daily basis.
M says on June 29th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
1. Playing addiction solitaire online at home/reading political blogs at work
2. I waste a lot of time on these pursuits and they detract from a number of other projects, and work tasks.
3.The difference is I am starting a new job, after 2 years of hard work in school and I really want to be the change I am expecting.
Bakhtier says on July 2nd, 2008 at 6:35 pm
1) The laziness
2) I lost my life, i am losing every my minute. I am turning into a monster that eats me every minute.
3) I need to get rid of it. It will be difficult. I had always problem with postponing it, but now i will definitely get rid of it. Now i will do. Today right now. I found good web-site, so i will spent more time on self developing. I want to be a man and human.
Nicolas says on July 3rd, 2008 at 3:12 am
Nicolas
Chronic procrastinator. ITS TIME TO CHANGE NOW
john says on July 6th, 2008 at 3:10 am
1.bad habit: i will stop lying to myself and others.
2.people look at me differently and think of me in the way i dont want people to look at me.
3.i want people to know that everything i say is not a lie and want to feel more comfortable around me instead of being afraid or w/e
Gala says on July 7th, 2008 at 9:32 am
1. Habit i want to change is postponing my study
2. it’s necessary because i wanna develope a habit to study regulary, every day, no matter how much(in the begining)
3. it will be different because i’m gonna get rid of this exam i’ve been struggeling with for a really long time
Tatiana says on August 1st, 2008 at 7:36 pm
I want to find the courage to change the way my life is now, and began building a better one. I want to take charge of my life so that I can have a good future.