5 Tips for Empathetic Listening
Empathetic Listening is a technique which can help you manage and avoid disruptive and assaultive behaviors. The foundation of the technique can be summarized in 5 simple steps.
- Provide the speaker with your undivided attention.This is one time “multi-tasking” or “rapid refocus” will get you in trouble.
- Be non-judgemental. Don’t minimize or trivialize the speakers issue.
- Read the speaker. Observe the emotions behind the words. Is the speaker angry, afraid, frustrated or resentful. Respond to the emotion as well as the words.
- Be Quiet. Don’t feel you must have an immediate reply. Often if you allow for some quiet after the speaker has vented, they themselves will break the silence and offer a solution.
- Assure your understanding. Ask clarifying questions and restate what you perceive the speaker to be saying.
Following these procedural steps will place you in a better situation for addressing the key issue.
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Comments
Allen Galbraith says on August 9th, 2006 at 10:16 am
Excellent tips!
I would add that the listener’s own body language should be relaxed yet attentive. e.g. If it is a controversial subject do not fold your arms as this can be perceived as defensive.
Reg says on August 9th, 2006 at 12:10 pm
Allen, You have a good point. Another issue I should have noted is that this observation are pretty specific to western culture. Body language varies the world over.
Allen Galbraith says on August 10th, 2006 at 5:14 am
Hi Reg
Thats a really interesting point. Japanese culture for example is a whole different ball game to Western culture.
Still, a good article though!
Allen
Craig says on August 10th, 2006 at 3:00 pm
There have also been a couple of posts related to this topic over at ITToolbox:
An item on ‘Responsive Listening’ which is also important:
http://blogs.ittoolbox.com/eai.....ning-10645
And an item on ‘Constructive Criticism’:
http://blogs.ittoolbox.com/eai.....cism-10957
Enjoy,
Craig.
bb says on January 29th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
thanks!!!:) i needed to use this for a project
IT WORKS
RegAdkins says on January 29th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
Hey bb,
Great! I’m glad it worked for you.
Peace!
Mr. Cooper says on July 21st, 2007 at 1:29 am
would love too have a copy of your work. I think this could save my marriage.