Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.

—Benjamin Franklin

People in general can be described as social animals. We need interaction with others in order to develop. Most people do not like the initial stages of adversity. Conflict and difficulty create uncertainty and impact our judgment and focus.

As much as people try to avoid it, hard times are a part of life. Positive change can come from conflict. The key is to deal with the issues at hand and push through towards resolution. Avoidance and inaction only intensify the problem.  Stop doing these 10 things so that you can push through hard times.

1. Hiding from reality.

There is a classic bumper sticker stating, “Life Is A Beach.” Sometimes this is not true. Tough things happen and are part of reality. You cannot ignore problems and wish them away. Accept things for what they are. It is the first step to overcoming obstacles.

2. Playing the blame game.

Picture this scenario. Your neighbor has a brand new SUV in their driveway. You see your 6 year old sedan in yours. You want to get a better vehicle but financially are not able. Resentment may build for your neighbor’s ability to buy the car. However, the responsibility ultimately rests with you. Accept your situation and take accountability so you can move on.

3. Reliving the past.

Most people seem to have a stage that they look back on where life was good. Too many think back on those times and wish to relive them. It is not possible to go back in time and relive memories. Think back on them to remember what made them good. Use those memories as momentum to create positive things now and in your future. Alternatively, if you tend to relive negative memories, try to let them go. You can’t change what happened in the past; you can only change what is going to happen in the future.

4. Being complacent.

Have you ever seen an upset three year old curl up in a ball and suck his thumb? It looks cute for a three year old, but not for an adult. But that is what you are doing when you are complacent. Problems do not take care of themselves. Take action, even if it is the wrong action, to get through hard times.

5. Worrying too much.

It is natural for us as people to have blinders on. When hard times occur we have a narrow of view of things.  Remember the big picture of situations. Sometimes you will see a solution that you may not have realized before.

6. Thinking it’s worse than it is.

You feel like you are pushing a boulder up a hill when faced with difficulties. But a solution can be found with resolve and tenacity. Take personal debt as an example. It may seem overwhelming, but can be overcome with planning and time. Work at a problem and eventually it will be overcome.

7. Not smiling.

You have probably heard the saying, “it takes more muscles to frown than to smile.” When complications in life occur, it is easy for us to have a miserable outlook. Smile more and be good natured to others even through difficulties. That attitude will reciprocate and help buoy your spirits.

8. Not having answers.

Information is so readily available in this day and age. You can just Google anything or check out topics on Wikipedia. When conflict occurs it seems like there are no answers. Take a step back and look at the problems you face. Get input from others with a different perspective.

9. Procrastinating.

Imagine walking down the street and then stopping. You don’t move forward or back; you just stand there. It may seem kind of silly, but that is what you do when you procrastinate. Part of the problem may be “analysis paralysis,” which when you over-think something instead of taking action. Set a goal and work towards reaching it.

10. Doing it alone.

When hard times occur you may feel the need to tackle problems on your own. This could stem from feelings of guilt or frustration. There are times when you need to reach out to others for assistance. Everyone is wired differently and have different ways of thinking. Use the experience of others to get through hard times. The time may come when they may need your help.

History provides great examples of hardships faced by people throughout the world, with stories of how adversity was overcome and triumph followed. This can happen for each of us in our own lives. This post started with a quote from Benjamin Franklin and ends with one from Kelly Clarkson: “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

 

Featured photo credit: Tambako The Jaguar via flickr.com

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