“Extroverts sparkle, introverts glow. If you appreciate your own quiet glow, other people will see it too.” – Sophia Dembling
Introverted people are often thought of as quiet and shy – perhaps not the best option for a party or even a date. But look closer. What do you see? A hundred beautiful things about a human being that perhaps just doesn’t interact with the world the same way that a more extroverted person would.
Introverts are not necessarily shy at all, they just do not feed off social energy the way that other people do, the way that extroverts do. They do not need to be the center of attention, it does nothing for them. This is not to say, however, that introverts are not great for a talk, or to spend time with. They are. And here is why.
Introverts are great conversationalists, if you get them one-on-one. And when you do, it is a beautiful thing. They have the ability to take time with conversations, and although they can often be a little slow to warm up to you, it is worth the wait. Introverts are not big fans of small talk, they like to speak less but say more. Because of this they have the ability to make deeper and more profound connections with those they choose to interact with in this way. It isn’t just fickle banter. Introverts have a lot of good stuff to say.
Whether it is the inner glow or the inner knowing, introverts have a mystique surrounding them that is compelling to many other human beings. We wonder what is going on inside that mind. We want to know.
Says Sophia Dembling, author of Introverts in Love: The Quiet Way to Happily Ever After: “I assumed nobody noticed introverted me, but years and years later, when I reunited with people from high school (thank you Internet), I learned that actually, many boys had noticed me.”
Introverts have different brains to the rest, which is part of their capacity for deeper connections. Their energy levels are invigorated by time alone, unlike extroverts whose energy grows within social environments. Introverts react with overstimulation to dopamine, the neurotransmitter in the brain, whereas extroverts are excited by it. Introverts feel good when they turn inward instead of outward, and reflect on more meaningful ideas.
Unlike extroverts, introverts can interact with all kinds of personalities – they just aren’t comfortable being all kinds of personalities. Introverts have the amazing gift of being able to appeal to both sides. With other introverts they can be one-on-one, understand each other and have quality time being comfortable within themselves.
Dembling states: “Either combination can work, depending on whether an introvert is looking for someone who will bring a social life to them, or someone who will hunker down at home with them. Both desires are perfectly valid and both combinations can work.”
With an extrovert it is more like yin and yang, with the introvert complimenting the extrovert by being two different halves of a whole. Both types of relationships can be successful.
Introverts have a number of excellent skills when it comes to listening to others. These include attention, noticing detail, thoughtfulness, the ability to ask questions, think about and analyze problems in detail. They are incredible partners in this way, and such attributes are closely linked with loyalty and dedication. These are intrinsically linked to how introverts also have more profound connections with others. Caution should be applied in certain situations, however, to make sure that introverts do not get lost in always being the listening ear for people who like to just talk continuously. Balance is paramount.
With care not to be passive aggressive, introverts are less likely to be rowdy and start fights when it comes to confrontation. They are more likely to talk things through and offer a more balanced and proactive solution to problems. This prevents emotions running too high and nasty things being thrown around in the heat of the moment, which can be highly salvaging for a strong connection with another. Abstaining from hurtful and irrational behavior is something we could definitely learn from introverts.
Featured photo credit: Pablo via pablo.buffer.com
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