Red flags can come at any time in a relationship. Sometimes they come within the first week of dating, while others don’t show their face until 6 months in. Not every red flag is as visible as physical abuse either. Here are 50 red flags you should watch for in your relationships.
If they do something wrong or something to hurt you, but never accept responsibility for the issue and rather just throw up excuses to why that behavior is okay or how it’s different in this case, that’s a major red flag. When’s the last time they apologized for their behaviour?
If your partner thinks all their exes are psycho and need a therapist, they probably don’t see the common denominator is themselves.
If they are stubborn and threaten to end your relationship, instead of coming to a compromise, it will get tiring. The same old “maybe I will find someone who will do that instead” or “I will find someone better” story puts nothing but stress on your relationship to the point where you really are unsure of the health or condition of your relationship.
If you text your partner and it takes them ages to respond, yet when they are with you, they are never off their phone, that may be something to think about. Taking a long time to respond isn’t a big deal, but lying about why you weren’t responding is.
If the people they hang out with are not nice people, you should probably reevaluate things. If their “best friends” are rude (especially to you when you meet them) or if you don’t like how they act, this may be a wake-up call to who you’re actually dating.
They keep bringing up old things you’ve said, by mistake or even if you’ve forgotten saying it. Keeping score gets old quick.
This could lead to bigger issues down the road. Their discomfort with you hanging out with other people will not deteriorate, it will get bigger. It will get to the point where your significant other despises your friends or family. Additionally, it is also a red flag if they try to keep you from doing anything you love.
It’s hard to move on when you’ve still got your mind on old relationships. They are probably not over it yet and there’s nothing worse than a relationship with the ex still lingering around.
People fall for it time and time again. If you haven’t met their friends, you’re not their partner.
If they are rude and there is a lot of tension between them and other people, there must be a reason why all these people don’t like your partner.
Adults tell the full part of the story, and don’t leave out the parts that will make you upset. If there are parts that would make you upset, that would be a separate red flag.
Emotional stability is key in a long-term relationship and it’s a lot to deal with. If they have legitimate emotional issues, maybe they should see a psychiatrist. They should not be yelling at you, in person or by text message, multiple times per day.
Someone who is rude to their family, is not long-term relationship material. If you are thinking this relationship could last, they will start treating you like family one day, and that could or could not be a good thing.
They make rules about who you hang out with, where you go, who you talk to, what you wear, how you do your hair, etc. There’s a point where it all becomes too much, especially if your partner would never want to comply with the same set of rules that they place on you. Don’t let a double standard control your relationship.
They don’t make any effort to get to know your family, or the people who are important to you in your life.
People get tired, and there gets to be a point where the fighting is too much. It’s not uncommon for one person to continuously apologize, just to end the fight, regardless if they were right or wrong. If it becomes a routine that one person always apologizes and the other does not, you’re dating a master manipulator.
If you know their passwords and don’t start questioning you or watching over you while you are on their device, that’s another story. This goes both ways. You have to let your partner go on your phone, just as much as you like to go on theirs.
They don’t show any sign of care for your comfort, or completely disregard it in situations where your comfort is clearly at stake.
How do they treat the hostess if they don’t have the table you want, or waiter if your drinks are a few minutes late? How do they treat the bank teller if they are having a bad day? How do they treat the door greeter or the taxi driver? Narcissism sucks and they will eventually treat you the same way.
It’s not alright when they become angry about discussing anything they don’t like, don’t agree with, or don’t want to talk about. Your partner shouldn’t lose their handle and try to suppress your communication at times when they know they are wrong. Their inability to talk about things that annoy them or strike a nerve is going to cause communication obstacles in your relationship further down the road.
If they are making a negative comment about everything, early into a relationship, those negative comments will eventually shift to you and they will be dissatisfied with everything you do as well.
I mean, if they left their partner for you, they will most certainly do that to you too. The amount of guys that try to talk to exes for a second chance, when they have a partner, really surprises me. If they are willing to be sneaky with you while in a relationship, how will they act when they are with you next?
This is a key when it comes to girls especially. This is a textbook red flag that has been told time and time again. If most of her friends are guys, she probably loves the attention from males and is an attention whore. The worst part about this is most of these guys secretly have a crush on her or want to get in her pants, so they hate you as a result. She may not see any of their intentions, either out of pure ignorance or she’s lying. She also may cause too much drama with female friends, which causes them to not want to be with her.
This is such a basic stepping stone; however, so many relationships move forward even when they don’t value what is important to each other. This will just lead to problems in the long run.
If you regularly do favors for your partner, your partner gets used to them and your favors start to become expectations. They also don’t see what you do for them, so you’re unappreciated and shouldn’t put up with this. Someone else will appreciate what you do for them.
It’s a common thread for people who continuously call themselves independent to be selfish.
Binge drinking is a red flag for more things that just a relationship. It often masks other problems. Have you had to carry her home, while she drunkenly yells at you until she finally falls asleep? Regular excessive drinking will not help your relationship, and a past of it is not a good sign.
One minute they are pissed off at you for making a minor mistake, and the next minute they want to take cute photos and post them to Facebook.
If they don’t want to be treated the way they treat you, perhaps it’s time for a wake-up call.
If they are still stalking their exes on a weekly basis, you have a special one on your hands. You need someone who is more secure with the idea of being with you, and is not living in the ashes of their past.
It comes to the point where they just expect too much from you and it’s too much to handle. You get what you give in a relationship, but some want the world just because of the fantasies they’ve fallen in love with.
If they don’t care about things that went on in your day, or the things you care about, you’re dealing with a selfish partner.
Being drunk removes inhibition. If a person is friendly to others, but rude when drunk, they hold a wall of inhibition to hide that side of them and pretend to be friendly when sober. How your partner acts when they’ve drunk too much will tell you who they are, regardless of what they try to tell you.
Are your relationship fights like you’re in an episode of Gossip Girl? Are you always the first one to initiate conversation when there is a fight? Do they like to ignore you and put minimal effort into resolving conflict? Ignoring phone calls, text messages, or even flat out ignoring you when you talk to them in person, are immature ways to handle conflicts and will result in communication problems down the line.
Every once in awhile, you’ll come across a girl who likes the drama because it adds excitement to her life. This is a bit more uncommon with guys. Sometimes it may seem like they push something minor into a fight, just because they want to. You don’t need this stress in your life. You don’t have time for it.
Respect is key in a relationship. If your partner cannot respect both of you, or your relationship, you may have a piece of work on your hands.
Dating someone with no relationship history is just as risky as dating someone with a patchy relationship history. If your partner has had a large number of relationships, it wouldn’t be unreasonable of you to start guessing where yours will fit into the mix.
Projection is a killer in relationships. If your partner is being sneaky, they will likely accuse you of being sneaky. If your partner is selfish, they will likely accuse you of being selfish. Whether or not they can see it and admit it, is key to moving forward.
If their family calls you crazy early on for trying, or doesn’t think you’re the one, you’re just wasting your time.
How many times have you been called an idiot or an a**hole? Have you spoke to your partner the same way or is it just a one-way street of verbal abuse? It doesn’t matter if they love you and 6 days of the week are good, this will only get worse.
Deleted texts usually come with other red flags. Does your partner also project that you are being sneaky? Do they have suspicious friendships with people of opposite sex? Do they fly off the handle when you ask questions about them?
Everyone is a little overly soft in the first month or few weeks of dating. Once you get through that, you start to see the real person. How much they change will set the course for what they’ll be like in the future.
It might seem hot when they use it as a pick up line, but 3 months down the line, you’ll understand that they were serious and they are very demanding and expect a lot from you.
Snapchat is a neat app. It tells you their best friends and deletes everything sent and recieved after it is viewed. It’s easy to forget that it received its popularity from how scandalous it was when the news covered it.
If they tell little lies about mundane things, they certainly tell lies about bigger things. Don’t overlook this.
Do they always place their phone face down? A quick Google search about why people place their phones face down brings up nothing but suspicion and shadiness.
It can be quite intimidating knowing their role models in their younger years were not the best examples of a healthy relationship. The apple will not fall far from the tree.
We all great angry but most of us have ways of coping with it. When people repeat the same sentence, but in a louder voice, they are likely about to get violent with you.
Cheating is never okay under any circumstance. Lying is never okay under any circumstance. Don’t let your partner use excuses to cover these or other mistake they’ve made.
Come on, you can’t fix this kind of stupid. It’s time to move on.
Featured photo credit: Elizabeth Ashley Jerman via flickr.com
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