Plenty of people make ambitious resolutions each year, though few truly achieve their goals. If you want to be one of those few, you need to learn why failure is so likely. That way, you can plan and make adjustments to avoid it.
1. You don’t lift
After leg day, you will quit working out, maybe for a day or two. You’ll tell yourself that you will be back to your routine soon, but the next time you’ll miss a whole week. By then, you won’t be working out at all. Don’t fret because the beaches will be full of people like you.
Don’t outdo yourself the first week, not all of us are pro athletes.
2. You hate kale
You don’t want to look at another leafy green again. Ever. It hurts every time you shove another vegetable in your mouth when you want steak. So, you go out to eat, you cheat, just a little. The next thing you know, you’re going to a fast food drive-thru every day. You just gained ten pounds and you think it was because of that kale.
Don’t blame the kale, it wasn’t the kale’s fault. You enjoy chocolate and grease, you’re not alone, but maybe enjoy it in moderation?
3. The likelihood of this being your best year ever is small
We know you wanted this year to be the best year ever, that everything was going to work out, and maybe you would even win a large sum of money in a lottery. The chances of that are small, but let’s not get too pessimistic—that penny stock you bought is about to triple. This means you will have three times that small amount, and if that isn’t enough, the U.S. presidential election is this year! That means that the national economy, as well as the international outlook, will be affected. So, if this year isn’t as good as 1999 was for you, you’re not alone. If your resolution was as general as just to “have a decent year,” then you’re probably not doing so good in general, and will now have to watch the media be flooded with campaign adverts and videos you won’t watch.
Why not try for something simpler next year, like losing four pounds?
4. A year is a long time
Whether you wanted to eat healthy or have the best beach body for the summer, you can’t always keep it up for an entire year. If this is your first time planning a New Year’s resolution, they have to be for an entire year. Things like this are designed to create a life change that will last for a longer period than just one year alone. So, if your resolution is just temporary, it’s not a resolution—it’s a temporary bandage that comes off after a quick tug.
5. You like smoking
Why quit? It doesn’t cost that much money to smoke cigarettes, right? It’s not a hard drug and it’s legal—why is there a need to stop?
Smoking is unhealthy, we know and outline this through campaigns and warning labels. Smokers know every time they light up that it’s harming them. The reality is that it’s extremely hard to quit for those that rely on it to calm them down. Smoking itself makes them more anxious and depressed, so they light up again. Nicotine is one of the most addictive substances, not just because of the psychological component but also because of its availability.
Smoking cessation is big on the list of resolutions, and it should be. Stick with it and a couple weeks of cravings should clear your system of the drug.
6. Sugar is bad but cookies are good
Cookies are the best thing to happen to flour since it was invented. If you aren’t the cookie monster, you have a weakness to sweets of some kind. If you don’t, then it’s not a resolution because you don’t have a problem. We need to resolve the high fructose corn syrup dilemma so that sugar can be in everything again. You can’t cut glucose out—literally, do not try that. It requires not eating for an entire year. Instead, why not opt for real sugar, rather than highly processed sugar products?
I’m not going to give you a science lesson, but sugar is king, and before I put myself into a sugarholics meeting, I’ll just stop.
7. You couldn’t do Lent, what makes you think you can do a New Year’s Resolution?
A resolution can feel extreme even if it’s a small thing. Maybe you’ve never really completed one of these personal goal challenges—you’re not here for a marathon. If you’ve actually run a marathon, you might think you can achieve your goal, but the truth is that most people don’t.
Write your goal down at the start of the year. Put it on a calendar or somewhere you will see it every day. Maybe this is just so you can see your hopes crushed, but maybe it can remind you of the person you were a year ago at the end of the year. And that can be a positive in itself.
8. Your goal is unrealistic
You can’t save a dying person or dead relationship in a year. This could take a lifetime. You can move mountains if you try, but you won’t be able to do it in just one year.
One man chipped away for decades after his wife died due to the roads around the mountain taking too long to reach the nearest hospital. For decades, he made this road to shorten the trip significantly. You can change things, but not in a year. You can be altruistic. Just keep in mind that the good things take so long to do that a year is just not enough.
9. The world doesn’t want you to succeed
Most resolutions are to stop doing things that you think are a problem, some behavior that doesn’t make you feel so good about yourself. Because of this, most choose to set a goal to desist with a certain activity. This pressure can be tough. You will have to fight the media and pressure from friends so that you can achieve your goal. If you’re still adhering to it, good for you! Take this bit of encouragement to the end of the year.
10. You are unlikely to succeed with any drunken resolution made on NYE
Maybe you wanted to quit drinking when woke up with a nasty hangover and told yourself “I’ll never drink again!” This isn’t going to work out because your heart wasn’t in it when you said it. Just make sure you don’t say it loud enough for people to hear and remind you of all year. Baby steps.
Bonus: You have Zero Fu@ks to give about it
Your friends have them, your family might, but you don’t care one bit about any of it. Overweight or not, you think you look good. Nothing in your life is that bad that you need some ridiculous resolution (that probably won’t work out anyway) to take care of it. After all, if you have a problem, you’ll take care of it. You don’t need some specific date to make it happen.
Featured photo credit: Colin Tsoi on Flickr via flickr.com
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