A Letter To My Baby Boy: What It's Like To Be Human
Dear Baby Boy,
You’re in for a wild ride in this life that you’ve only barely embarked on. I know that right now, you’re pretty comfortable, warm, shielded from the harsh light, the shrieking voices, the general offences of the world. But, in almost no time at all, everything is going to change. At first, you’ll see bright lights. You’ll probably feel what we call “cold,” which just means you’ll feel right at home when you’re placed on my chest right after you’re born. It will be the most glorious moment of mine and your dad’s life. But for you, it’ll be just the beginning.
Eventually you’ll learn what a “home” is.
For a while, you’ll be able to sleep anywhere, but after a few months you’ll realize that, as a family, we spend most of our time at home. Then, you’ll sleep best after a warm bath, bedtime stories, and snuggles, before you’re gently placed into your own crib. That is what home will feel like.
When you get a little older, you’ll start to make what we call “friends.”
Friends are wonderful things. They are other humans that we just pick out and spend our time with. We like our friends and want them to like us too, so we’re nice to them. And they’re nice to us. You’ll like to spend time with your own friends playing baseball, skateboarding, and likely begging for more time on the Xbox, or whatever game is popular when you get that old. You’ll be very happy to have such great friends, and I’ll be happy for you too. But I also will probably have to take a hot shower to wash away the tears I’ve secretly cried when I come to realize that my baby boy is growing up and that maybe you won’t need me forever.
Eventually, you’ll go out on your own.
I can’t say exactly when you’ll make the decision to make a home for yourself. You’ll decide that your life is just beginning! Maybe you’ll go to college (which is like an anarchist daycare) and move into a tiny apartment with other college kids. You’ll think you’re learning more than you ever have, but I know better. You’ve learned more in your regular, going-to-bed, eating-dinner, staying-out-too-late life than four years of studying can ever teach you. You’re smart. Which means a lot in this life.
You’ll find a way to make money.
Money isn’t everything, honey. But in our world, you have to be able to purchase stuff, like food, clothes, your home. And so you’ll need a job. I pray that you find a job that makes you happy, energizes and invigorates you, gives you life. In that case, you’ll feel like your life has just begun. But if you don’t, that’s okay too. Sometimes, to be human means to get by. And sometimes, that means working a job that isn’t exciting, but does pay the bills, and for a time, that’ll be okay.
One day, you’ll meet the love of your life.
Eventually, you’ll have a very special friend. Someone who makes you feel different than any friend before. Then you’ll feel that your life has just begun. And she’ll feel the same way about you. You’ll probably get a funny feeling in the pit of your stomach when you think about her and you’ll get your hopes up that maybe you’ll get to make your own home with her in it. But you know what? Chances are, you won’t. More often than not, humans don’t settle down with the first special person that makes them feel that way. And it’ll hurt. Your heart will feel like a searing knife was plunged into it. And I can only pray that the pain won’t last too long. And that the scar it leaves will be short. Because you’ll find someone else that makes your heart beat again. That’s what we call love. It is the most powerful force on the planet.
And that’s what I feel for you.
It’s a strange sort of love that a mother has for her little boy. One that can’t be settled and can’t be described with mere words on this page. Sometimes, my heart aches with the heaviness of this powerful force. But usually, when you reach for me, when your baby-soft coos wake me up in the morning, my heart sings with the lightness that being your mama gives me. You’ve transformed me into a mother, just like someday someone will transform you into a daddy. And then you’ll say your life has just begun. How many beginnings does one get in a lifetime? I can’t say. But I do hope that you learn to enjoy every new beginning you’re given.
Being human means a lot of things. Above all, I hope that you embody the spirit of the greatest humans before us, those that were selfless, courageous, ambitious, forgiving, kind, and inspired. I hope you take risks and learn from your failures. That the hurts the world throws at you don’t define you, and that you choose for yourself a life that is worth living.
Featured photo credit: 100 Days Old/george ruiz via flickr.com
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