Ever wonder why you see someone who is totally out of their mind wind up with an intense, passionate lover who would walk to the ends of the earth to make them happy? Meanwhile, someone who seems to have their life together and behave in a totally normal, rational and controlled way is utterly unable to find a lasting partnership or even a short-term fling?
This is actually a common trend in society. The wild, out of control or stereotypically “crazy” person winds up with a flock of people pursuing them while the straight-laced, “boring” person goes through the motions of life, only to wind up sad and alone, wondering where they went wrong.
Think about it: have you ever known someone who has everything you want in a person on paper, but you just don’t feel that instinctual, overpowering urge of attraction toward them?
Why Does “Mr. Wrong” Feel Oh So Right?
There might be a reason for this backed by science. According to a study published online in the October 23rd issue of Evolution & Human Behavior, people with more extreme personality traits – who are more prone to being super anxious, extreme and intense – were shown to be more attractive than a typical, less extreme person.
You read that right – neurotic, intense, anxious people… people that might be called “crazy” were actually found to be more attractive than other, more “normal” people. Surprising, right? You won’t believe what else researchers found.
In fact, “Results show that people with some pathological personality types, such as those considered neurotic and impulsive, had more mates and even more children than average,” according to the Scientific American.
That means that crazy, neurotic, pathological people are actually having more partners and more children than people with more normal personalities.
In addition, “The study results also revealed that neurotic females were more likely to be in lasting relationships. The most neurotic female participants had 34 percent more long-term mates and 73 percent more children than average despite exhibiting a trait typically associated with instability, anxiousness and insecurity.”
“Neurotic Women Are More Likely To Be In Lasting Relationships”
This also applies to people who take extreme risks. They are thought to attract more short-term flings. Think about “that guy” who skydives or goes rock climbing or “that guy” who parties all night and exhibits some self-destructive behavior and even dates multiple women at once… who women are unexplainably attracted to. Why does this happen?
According to Fernando Gutiérrez, involved with the Hospital Clinic of Barcelona, who led the study, the reason people are instinctually more attracted to people who take extreme risks and are impulsive is because they are thought to be intriguing and fascinating.
“While they are selfish, rule-breaking, imprudent and rebellious, they are also brave, temerarious, independent and self-reliant – and they live frantic, galvanizing lives,” he says. This could send off “a signal that the subject has such good genetic quality and condition as to live dangerously without suffering harm,” he continues.
Living Dangerously Can Be Attractive Indeed
So if you’re a woman who has unexplainable panic attacks and is lost on how to make a man commit or if you’re a man who has a tendency to turn toward extreme behavior or live in a world of unbearable OCD marked with neurotic tendencies, it might actually be something that’ll make you more attractive. It’s crazy, but true.
Or if you are someone who goes out of your way to control yourself, not say things you want to say in fear that people will perceive you in a negative way, perhaps it’s time to free yourself form this roadblock and be bold, let yourself have fun and say things that you might be afraid to say.
Featured photo credit: Angelica/Daniele Zedda via flickr.com
Set a Goal For Yourself
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