You’re back on the dating scene and met this wonderful guy. You get the impression you met someone who’s serious and hoping to settling down someday. You like him…I mean really like him. He’s given you hope and opened a door you once closed. He has a nice job, his own place, a car in his driveway and surprise…he has a kid. Dating is already complicated and when you add a kid to the mix, it can be a recipe for drama.
Here are a few tips about dating a guy with a child…
1. His kid comes first.
As it should be! His child should ALWAYS be number one. He has a responsibility and an obligation to uphold. If you’re dating someone who’s child doesn’t come first…he isn’t the one for you! One thing you’ll learn about dating a guy with a child is things will not go as planned. His child may get sick during a date or he will cancel plans because he needs a babysitter. Anything can come up and it’s important for you to realize that you’re not the only person in his life. Be patient and understanding.
2. Your relationship may start as a secret.
In the beginning, he may tell no one about you. Don’t worry! He has someone else to think about besides himself. He doesn’t want women walking in and out of his life. He’s smart to take things slow with introductions because a child shouldn’t be involved in the dating process. Stability is important! It’s a good move to make sure things are going well before bringing someone into a child’s life. You don’t want a child to become attached, and that person doesn’t stick around for the long haul.
3. His ex is here to stay.
Yes, you’ll be reminded of their past together. I know it’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s something you have to accept. They have a history together and will interact with one another. When dating a guy with kids, there’s no room for jealousy. Those insecurities you held in earlier relationships need to be pushed out of your mind. This isn’t a traditional break-up where the ex is no longer present. Even if you don’t care for her actions, it’s important to respect she’s the mother of his child. Don’t get into any arguments with her. The last thing you want is to add unnecessary stress. The communication between them is for the sake of their kid. Trust your man and keep faith in your relationship!
4. Emergencies will come up.
As soon as you guys are all dressed up and ready to go…he gets a call. It’s his child’s mother, and she needs him to give them a ride. You’ve waited all week for this night and it will not happen. I know you’re disappointed, but it comes with the package. If you had things your way most of your life, it’s time to change. It’s no longer about you! When you date someone with a child, you’re agreeing to accept all that comes with it. Think hard and ask yourself if you’re ready for this commitment.
5. Pace yourself.
Don’t rush into things! It’s okay to take your time and pace yourself. Eventually, you’ll meet his child. You hope to form a bond because you care for this man. His child extends him, so it’s a valuable relationship you’re entering.
6. He’s ready for a serious commitment.
He already has his life figured out! He knows what he wants and where he wants to be. His life is no longer centered on selfish acts but now focused on his little one. He has someone who looks to him for guidance.
7. Be independent.
I can’t stress enough how important it is to have a life outside of your partner. There will be times when he isn’t available. When he’s spending alone time with his child, you should be out with friends or enjoying some me time. That way you’re not sitting around…feeling left out or neglected.
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