Here are 9 things you’ll understand if you’re a first time mom.

1. If you are a stranger, no, we don’t want you touching our belly.

Seriously, just stop asking. First of all, when you touch my belly, no part of you is actually in contact with my baby. It’s all me. Second of all, I wouldn’t want your grubby fingers touching my baby even if you could! I promise you, the yuck factor it gives me is way, way bigger than whatever pleasure it gives you. Gross.

2. Pregnancy symptoms are magical.

The first time I felt my baby’s sweet fluttering kicks inside, I felt like the world stood still. It was as if he was nudging me, reminding me just how real and alive he is. As I sat in waiting rooms, the DMV, church, at home watching TV, I was constantly reminded that my body was nurturing a brand new precious life, without me consciously even doing anything. Pregnancy is magical. Baby, your mama already knows you from the inside out.

3. …but some pregnancy symptoms are not so magical.

Any first time mom knows that sometimes the sweetest kicks from her baby are occasionally overshadowed by having to rush to the bathroom constantly, either to puke, or to keep from wetting herself. Smells are especially dangerous, from last night’s onion peels in the trash to the range of new smells your own body is producing, the slightest whiff of the wrong thing can tie your stomach in knots. Yeah, I’ll just say it. No one really tells you how disgusting some pregnancy symptoms are.

4. Yes, we’re excited.

And even with all of nastiness, we keep envisioning meeting our little one for the first time face-to-face, and all of the unpleasantness just fades away. We lay out our baby’s freshly washed layettes and baby hats in his nursery and the “realness” of it all starts to set in. Before you know it, your new little bundle of joy will be in your arms.

5. But we’re also exhausted from answering that question
.

Just remember that you aren’t the first person to ask us, well, whatever you just asked us. Some questions are kind of exciting to answer, like giving us a chance to tell you our due date and, why, yes, I AM a first time mom! But if one more person asks us if we have a name picked out (because, even if I do, I’m not telling you), we might lose our minds.

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Photo credit: http://www.mrsfantastico.com/blog/2013/9/14/week-36-signs-youre-done-with-pregnancy

6. And we’re also terrified.

Trust us. We’re fully aware by what painful means we will get this baby out of us. And we know that babies come with gobs of spit up and poopy diapers and yes, we’re afraid. Very afraid. We’re also afraid because we aren’t sure that we were ready for a baby after all. We were ready for the idea of a baby. But the reality of a little mini-me toddling around our house, breaking things and breaking our hearts is sometimes a little overwhelming. We’ve never done this before!

7. No, we haven’t thought about THAT.

A short list I haven’t decided about while I’m pregnant: vaccinations, placenta encapsulation, nipple cream, making baby food, using organic cotton sheets, when I’ll have my second baby, how I intend to lose the baby weight, preschool, how I’ll sleep train my baby, or what sports I’ll put him in when he’s five years old. Please stop pressuring me to make complicated decisions when my baby hasn’t even been born yet!

8. As a first time mom, we totally don’t know what we’re doing, but neither did you!

For the most part, first time moms approach impending motherhood with a certain amount of confidence. But for a lot of things, we’re chanting the old, fake-it-til-you-make-it mantra. And be honest, doesn’t everyone?

9. We totally love the special treatment.

And lastly, all that special treatment we get, offers to sit while everyone stands, an extra helping of ice cream, a nap every day, foot rubs… yeah, we dig it. Keep it coming. But not the chatty “advice” that comes with it. That, you can keep to yourself.

Featured photo credit: Sarah Zucca/IMG_6123 via flickr.com

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